Obama: Well, Vlad, you haven’t said a word.
Putin: I am still thinking of response.
O: Ya gotta admit it was pretty clever.
P: But still, it was your own military.
O: What would you do if the cadets at your army training academy dissed you?
P: I would not hesitate to send every one of them to hard labour in Siberia, required to hear boring lectures by one woman I would not argue with, your former Secretary of State…very smart of you, assigning women to be secretaries. If they cannot cook in kitchen, make them secretaries. Ha ha.
O: Yes, one step forward with me as president, two steps back returning women to secretary roles. But seriously, I thought what I did was pretty cool.
P: Rescuing deserter of your own military is like giving middle finger to your generals. Rescuing deserter who had converted to religion of your country’s enemy and also of your father is dangerous, even for me. Tells your countrymen “Fuck you!” a little loud, don’t you think, even for you?
O: Not at all. Not at all. I thought it was a perfect example of presidential-level sarcasm. Besides, there’s not a single thing anyone can do about my private joke at the expense of the American peasants. This power trip is pretty addictive. I can see why you stay in control.
P: You are right. And Russian women who love men in power good for more than secretarial position. I make them secret agents, tell them I personally train them for missionary position.
O: That, Vlad, is clever! You da man.
P: Da. You man, too. What your personal adversary say? “Power to the King of the sheeple!”
O: She’ll always have a view of your country from her backyard, that’s certain.
P: Beware the rest of your political career, comrade. Sarcasm is lost on ordinary citizens. More so when you personally make fun of your soldiers for revenge.
O: Well, you can bet those cadets will give me full honours next time. Lol