Ever wondered why some of your friends are so good at hide-n-seek or capture-the-flag?

Because they paid their subscription dues to Public Access Microsurveillance Magazine, the resource for amateur spying.

As a subscriber to PAMM, your friends know the cheap route to monitoring your neighbourhood from hidden eyes in the sky:

— Tap into satellite feeds
— Rent time on weather balloon observation platforms
— Discover how to hack drones in your area
— Learn the secrets of locating wildlife/game capture cameras and hidden microphones to track the location of your friends in the deepest woods/jungles/swamps
— Set up triangulation equipment to pinpoint where your friends are with their mobile phones

But wait, that’s not all!!!

With your subscription, you get passwords to many foreign agency databases, allowing you access to satellites, CCTV cameras, and camouflaged/cloaked spy gear to track your friends when they go overseas on holiday.

Amaze your friends on Facebook when you tell them where they are before they can brag with photos of fancy food, celebrity sightings or magnificent panoramic pics.

Hurry! This deal won’t last.

Only the first 100 new subscribers get this deal.

The next 10000 subscribers will have to negotiate and trade their subscription points in our annual “Go OnThe Globe” geocache treasure hunt! Yearly winners get exclusive tours of our headquarters and a special list of access codes available nowhere else!

Use access code to hear testimonials from our most avid subscribers, including billionaires who built their businesses on blackmail alone, the ultimate game of revenge for true gamers.

Our triennial winner gets a microsatellite for personal use up to three years (or until the satellite de-orbits) — use timeshare software to lease space on your own spy-in-the-sky and impress the love of your life, making your rivals pale in puny comparison. You can put your rivals in all sorts of mischievous trouble: “You have a new Corvette? So what? I know where you’ve been cheating and have informed the authorities.”

Do your future self a favour. Drop whatever you’re doing right now and subscribe!