Can you believe this is a magnified view of a subterranean (actually, submartiansurface? [ 😉 ]) ecosystem captured in a photograph by a secret Mars exploratory mission sent by the Committee several years ago and just now returning to Earth with valuable data for us to get started on negotiating mining operations that’ll destroy life on Mars we never got to know personally?:
Just wait until we try to sell you underground warm mineral springs timeshares on the red planet!
And if you can’t/won’t visit our celestial sister, we’ll rent our virtual Martian surrogates to give you the experience of living there in hourly/daily/weekly slots, able to print 3D surrogate versions of you in no time flat!
Give us a call! Availability is limited! The first 50 callers get a special bonus just by mentioning this advert!
treetrunkdings 
Me, I’m in…
I actually want to make a green roof. To sit below the blue roof.
Your offer accepted. Because you are one of the first 50 callers, your bonus is on its way. Unfortunately, our shipping contractor is having trouble with drivers on strike for more business expense deductions, including heavily-caffeinated, sugar-laden, nicotine-filled snack foods that are healthy at the same time, so we can’t guarantee the arrival time of your bonus until our scientists on retainer create the perfect between-meal dietary supplement that is both tasty and good for you, as well as cheap enough for business writeoffs as petty cash business expenditure dispersals to keep shippers and their drivers happy and in profitable business.
Me, I’m in no hurry
so you no worry
innit