Adding up the statistics of all the websites and blogs my team has hidden across the globe, we reached a daily average of 65,000 views today!

Of course, that’s nothing compared to major news sites, celebrity videos, facebook updates or twitter feeds, but we are happy with our low-key approach to viral influence.

Our whole point of existence is not to make people aware we exist.

Makes us wonder if we should start taking ourselves seriously.

Why start now, right?

One of our Czech programmers created a comedy sensor that detects when our funny bones have lost their sense of humour.

Our overcrowded hallway of unemployed superheroes was buzzing with excitement but that’ll happen when the Green Banker’s Lamp is upset that he’s not getting the attention he used to garner before the global economy relapse of 2008.

Of course, he challenged the Green Hornet and the Green Lantern to a three-way duel.

We’ll report the results of their old-fashioned showdown as soon as they reach an agreement about how to get the Funny Bone Dullness Sensor to react to bored superheroes fighting over the right to be famous for being famous for making a moose say vamos.

Census data revealed that 1 out of 6 Americans are American, which, coincidentally, lines up with previous census data that revealed 5 out of 6 Americans are also American.

We can’t wait to see the final report that reveals 100% of Americans are 100% American.

Star light, star bright, is that the last we’ll see and hear of Stardust (the satellite, not David Bowie or Katie Perry channelling the memory of Ziggy Stardust)?  If you go coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs, will you go gaga for Lada Gaga going country?  Somebody, gag me, please, before I violate the STUPID Act again!

= = = = =

And last, but always least, I realised tonight, after nearly 25 years of marriage, my wife has never (well, rarely) seen the aspect of my personality that comes out when she’s not around, that is kept at bay because I agreed to hide my wild, quasi-dark side away from her relatively normal, socially-even personality.  Years of practicing suppression for her sake have been years of practicing suppression for her sake.

More on that last paragraph at a later time.  My days of multiple dance partners will have to wait until another out-of-town business trip.  I left my wild side in Ireland, didn’t I?  In other words, the personality-at-home maintains itself for now.  Is that the definition of love?

I want to live but I don’t yet know how, I tell myself.  [If I can’t lie to myself, who can I lie to?]