In case you missed it, the Association of Comglomerates announced today that, going forward, all newhires at any organisation — corporation, sports team, quilting club, stamp collectors, etc. — must sit through a viewing of the film, “About Schmidt,” and then write an essay about why life must go on despite one’s useless Sisyphean effort to make a difference.

As an alternative, one may appear in “Death of a Salesman” or interview a person standing on a bridge about to commit suicide.

Major universities around the world are contemplating adding curriculum as the capstone course to all university degree programs.

Card-losing members of Apathetics, Anonymous, are confused about the situation — why the fuss?

Nihilists are rejoicing that they’ve won the day and will announce the proclamation of “The World is Nothing Day” during this evening’s news broadcast.

The World Trade Organisation has refused to admit defeat and will continue to closely cooperate with financial institutions to put everyone and every institution under heavy loads of debt, thereby confirming the futility of life unknowingly.