The men sat back in their leather chairs, cigar smoke gathering in layers below the ceiling.
“Boys, this is the way I see it. We gave the women the right to vote. A few decades later, we paid some kids to crash planes on 9/11. From my point of view, we’re right on schedule. Any objections?”
“Why are you so certain this will work?”
“Why? Because it always has. We enfranchise and disenfranchise various portions of the population to keep them off-guard and forever picketing city hall for the same rights they’ve lost and gained so many times they can’t remember.”
“If only this next one happened in my lifetime…”
“Anyone else with a question?”
“Yes. So let me get this straight. Your schedule shows us implementing Sharia law in Western countries within 100 years of 9/11/2001, thereby reinstating the role of men as supreme leaders…?”
“Uh-huh…”
“But it doesn’t bother you that our religion is pushed off to the side?”
“What do you mean?”
“Isn’t Sharia law the antithesis of ours?”
“How so?”
“Well, our religions are not exactly best friends…”
“Abrahamic, Ibrahamic, call it what you will. At the end of the day, it’s patriarchical and that’s all that matters to us men. Right, boys?!”
The yellow-orange glow of burning tobacco sticks bobbed up and down.
“Next item on the agenda — determining which families get first dibs on occupying the initial Martian colonies. Any suggestions?”
“Well, hadn’t we better make sure the women we send with those families are self-sufficient if need be but ultimately dependent on men?”
“Of course, of course. As you can see from the list I gave you, the men and women from which you will choose the best candidates have been sequestered into isolated subcultures for three generations, allowing us to control their thought patterns, dietary preferences and genetic tendencies with 99.99966 percent accuracy.”
“I don’t know. Six sigma sure leaves a lot of room for error. I’d feel a lot more secure if we had a 10-sigma process in place.”
“You get what you pay for. Gentlemen, anyone want to raise the stakes to ten sigma?”
“I’ll put a wager on seven.”
“Eight for me!”
“Okay, anyone for nine? No? Okay, going once, twice, sold! Eight sigma. By my calculations we need an additional half a billion dollars for seed money to get this started.”
“I’d still feel more comfortable with ten.”
“And if you can cough up 100 billion dollars, we’ll give you ten sigma.”
“Let me think about it…”
“Sure thing. We’ll table it until next week’s Committee meeting. Now, looking at the list, are there any objections to the list of potential candidates?”
treetrunkdings 