How to avoid giving testimony

While the 24/7 news coverage of mass murder holds our attention, we take a moment to divert our gaze.

Can somebody tell me if Hillary Clinton survived an assassination attempt or is she just feigning a sick spell to avoid giving testimony?

These rumours swirl around the Internet like there’s no tomorrow and, with only six days until the world ends, one of the rumours might just be true this time.

Stomach flu, fainting spell, head concussion…I’ve heard better excuses from my employees for missing work.

Look, NFL players return to work every day and suffer head concussions, flu, broken bones, etc.

Our readers want to know which part of THE TRUTH is real and which rumours are actually, truly false.

We look ahead 1000 years in the future, where reality is no longer real…

“On your toes!”

Kathryn and Lee looked into each other’s eyes.

He widen his eyelids, taking in her eyebrows, nose, cheeks, hair and her lips, the lower lip turned out slightly, just short of a frown.

She waited.

Her warm hand clasped in his, he took a small sideways step, his heel striking the ground.

As he raised his foot for the next step, Neill called out.

“No! No! No! Land on your toes! Or, if you’re going to land on your heel, which you always seem to do, turn your foot around so it appears you landed on your toes and spun around.”

Kathryn smiled, shrugged her shoulders and waited for Lee to begin again.

One, two, three, one footfall after another landed perfectly with the triplet.

“Very good!”

Lee nodded at Neill in thanks.

Kathryn opened her mouth to speak, her eyebrows raised in anticipation of saying something and then stopped.  She dropped her shoulders and relaxed her right hand in Lee’s left.

Lee, feeling the change in Kathryn’s grip, led Kathryn back to the starting position.

She looked at him in a way that made Lee feel he was completely in charge, a physical surrendering like an infant that’s completely comfortable bouncing in a babushka tied around a mother’s neck as she runs down the street to meet her husband coming back from the battlefront.

The two dancers held their heads high and repeated the first triplet, Lee holding Kathryn’s hand such that, with their elbows bent, they formed a small “W” in the air.

Kathryn looked down at their position.

“I need your body closer to mine, like this.”  She pulled Lee’s left hand down by her right side and slightly behind her.

Lee’s bearded chin almost bumped Kathryn’s forehead.

“Exactly.”  She smiled at his throat and then looked up at him.

Lee swallowed.  “Okay.”

Kathryn’s innocent look revealed her true desire, to get Lee to learn how to dance.

More than anything, she wanted him in control of his partner on the dance floor, their motions in sync, their moves as one, in the same way that Shannon, an interpretive dancer, used a shawl and ballet moves to imply the simple peasant Mary one moment and, leaping into the air, falling into a crouch with a twist of the cloth, the Virgin Mother Mary holding a babe in swaddling clothes the next moment.

“Let’s try it again.”

Lee took one step sideways, his body rotating, pulling Kathryn closer as he took the second and third steps until he held her pressed close to him.

Neill clapped his hands.  “Wonderful!  We’re ready for the next set of steps.  Lee, now that you’re facing your partner, I want you to complete a ‘walk-walk-walk.'”

As Lee completed the moves in slow motion, left toes tucked behind right heel three times in a row, Kathryn held her gaze, as if she was willing Lee to become a strong-willed man.

All Lee had to do was let go.

Drop the nervousness.

Accept his rightful place as heir to an imaginary throne.

He performed the steps awkwardly, his left arm strong when it should have been loose and his right hand held slightly loose under Kathryn’s armpit, careful not to squeeze too tightly.

As if reading his thoughts, Kathryn smiled and, with a tiny raising of her left shoulder, indicated to Lee that he should hold her closer with his left hand on her back.

“I want to try it one more time.”

Neill nodded.

Lee and Kathryn returned to their original dance position and completed the maneuvers flawlessly, Lee absolutely relaxed, his gaze into Kathryn’s eyes removing the foggy illusion of Kathryn as “Kathryn the dance instructor/partner” and opening Lee up to a view of her as someone else.

Was Lee removing one of his masks or peeling back one of hers?

Kathryn kept looking at him, her lips together, her thoughts invisible to Lee.

For the next three or four repetitions, Lee was lost in his thoughts.

He looked at Kathryn’s jawline, the colour of her skin, her hair, her dress, her dancer’s stance.

He tried to imagine the once heavier woman before him, what she was like 75 pounds ago.

Was she shy?  A nerd?  Silly?  Self-deprecating?  Funny?  Sad?

She’s certainly smart, or so she seemed.  He had carried on no deep, meaningful conversation with her about Fermat’s last theorem or the largest known irrational number but he believed her when she said she was a mathematician in training to become a horse breeder.

Lee knew he was gullible about a lot of things.

His employees had told him many times over that he accepted every excuse they gave him about coming in to work late but they never noticed that he always got them to complete their assignments ahead of time.

Gullibility as a ploy has its pluses, just like women who feign ignorance to boost men’s fragile egos.

Neill patted Lee’s shoulder.  “Great job tonight!  That’s all for now.  Why don’t you practice what you learned and we’ll go on to the next set of steps later?”

Lee bowed his head toward Kathryn and dropped his right arm.

She curtsied and let go of his left hand, turning to another instructor to talk about an upcoming holiday dance party at the Flying Monkey Arts Centre.

Contemporary Tempo

We have two ways to handle the situation but who’s counting?

Most importantly, you can choose to make your future or react to the past.

I choose the former.

Just like, right now, Monkeynaut chooses to ferment in my belly and tickle my tummy…

Naughty-AND-nice

…making my ears ring hours after listening to the bells, chorus, Celtic band, organ and orchestra at an annual musical spectacle of a local worship centre called the Living Christmas Tree at First Baptist Church.

I could write a few hundred character sketches based on the people I show at tonight’s show but I won’t.  I’m enjoying too much the aftereffects, the buzz, of a few gospel tunes, Celtic airs and choral harmonies…

Christmas music and beer — some traditions are just too difficult to overcome.

That’s why I long ago taught myself not to condemn others for their lifestyles.

Who’m I to judge what’s going through your thoughts as you struggle to live your life the best way you know how?

Old-fashioned or newfangled, we are who we are and mostly who we want to be.

I have some mischievous stories in my thoughts that I better not write while I’ve had a few to drink.

I know better than to regret later being the real me behind the layers of masks that masquerade for this show we call a universe within a blog.

Well, all right, if you insist…what’s one teensy, tiny story amongst friends, right?

Let’s listen in to the characters who are already in your future but you don’t know it yet…

Rumours run amuck

Rumours roamed the Internet today, with 47 percent of those online believing a story that spread overnight in which the World Government will issue a requirement that all parents must register their special needs children with local authorities and that old Spartan techniques of sacrificing economically unproductive children in order to conserve the use of natural resources is under serious consideration. In addition, the rumours spread instant urban legends in which any neighbour or passerby, including but not exclusively, midwives, medical doctors, pharmacists, school counselors; spiritual advisors such as priests, preachers, gurus; and juvenile court participants such as lawyers and judges; who do(es) not report the suspicious activity of special needs children which commit or were (in)directly involved crimes will be treated as accessories and punished to the fullest extent of the law.

From out of the darkness

While subcultures, from the Ruralites to the Urbanskis, from the Entitlementists to the Independents, argued about who was to blame for society’s failure to prevent random acts of violence throughout history, the Presidential Council for Taking Advantage of Political Moments announced sweeping changes for public education:

One, all children must receive mandatory anger management classes, regardless of the outward appearance of their personalities.

Two, all children who appear tortured by their peers will be taken from public school and sent to Assertiveness Centres, private institutes of learning that simulate the warmth and comfort of home schooling, nurturing the happy leaders and followers of tomorrow whose parents couldn’t afford the luxury of safety for their kids from the violent chaos of bullies, sadistic teachers and pop culture cruelty.

Three, anyone who is mousy, compliant, bullying or uncooperative will have their psyches reprogrammed.

Four, all forms of sports will be banned from school, eliminating the chance that cliques of HGH-fueled students will wander the halls looking for someone to beat up.

Five, teachers will not be allowed to display favoritism, treating the weak and the strong, the learned and the unlearned, with equal cheer and neutral disinterest.

Six, all public officials must force their children to attend public schools, clean their own homes, drive their own cars and perform all the normal duties of the average citizen in order to eliminate the political-based class structure that has torn holes in the social fabric which, in turn, has created subclasses of passive-aggressive citizens who harbor ill will against others, carrying the primary phrase within their thoughts, “you will have to rip this gun out of my dead, cold fingers.”

13,657 days to go

While parents, friends and family grieve for their loved ones in a Connecticut small town, we move forward.

Dozens have died of violence all around the world today.

We want answers but there won’t always be ready explanations for the actions of our peers, our fellow members of the same species who seem so horrifically out-of-touch with reality that we want to label them monsters and freaks.

In a population of seven billion, we cover the gamut of life’s ups and downs.

We will and we must go on.

We live our lives in honour and memory of others.

We have stories to tell from the future that offer the same promises and loss that we feel today.

We look forward to the promises fulfilled, not so much the losses.

We can use the losses as inspiration, just as we have before.

Let us turn tragedies into triumph and losses into victories.

We can melt guns into plowshares but we can also melt them into rocket fins and spacecraft skins.

We will emerge victorious.

The facts remain.

Tomorrow is only hours away.

Onward and upward, my friends — the stars await!

Names worth mentioning

Thanks to Rick, Leslie, Bruce, Rich and the staff at Straight To Ale for serving the superb Unobtainium brew this evening; Nanci at Rite-Aid; Steve and Chris at Logan’s Steakhouse; Catherine, Debra, Joe and Harold at KCDC; psychiatric supporters of the families affected by the school shooting in Connecticut; those who face death and destruction every day in the name of freedom.

A special shout-out to Alex and Drew of .45 Surprise and the megaburger by the mobile gourmets No Brakes Bistro.

Our Value to Society – Should it be Quantified?

Where, in the space between our teenage years / postsecondary education and our senior citizen years, have we paid back society for raising us, supporting us in our productive years and then caring for us in our unproductive elderly years?

In other words, should the government which provides you infrastructure and self/private property protection require you to be economically feasible in your peak years?  Or else?

If a citizen isn’t viable or useful to government, then can government refuse service to the citizen unless another citizen (or citizens) step(s) forward to make up the difference?

Economic-Years

The wonders of the universe…

Here I sit, the Geminid meteor shower lighting the sky above me (counted 21 streaks in the last 30 minutes), and I’m slowly recovering from the loss of my father.

I don’t feel the pangs of pain every few minutes and then every hour or so like I did months ago.

The waves of loss crash against the shore of my ego, my personality, less frequently.

Instead, I feel the weight of responsibility of being the eldest male in Dad’s lineage pressing down on my shoulders.

Not repressively.

Just strong enough to remind me that I no longer depend on Dad for advice — it has to come from within or elsewhere.

How much of Dad’s subculture do I keep perpetuating?

What of his beliefs that aren’t mine do I want to carry on?

Meteor and comet dust turn into plasma as they vaporise.

Dad’s life had a meteoric rise, shining brightly, and then faded into ashes and dust.

Remembering him here and now is therapeutic.

No one will remember the meteor or comet dust I saw burn up in the sky.

I may have shared a view of them together with members of my species, some aware of the physics and chemistry involved, some wishing on a falling star, perhaps others seeing omens or other talismans of change.

In subcultural pockets are people who ask why saying “Merry Christmas” or referring to a decorated conifer as a “Christmas tree” is not as popular as it once was.

Instead of asking why, ask why not?  Keep referencing the labels as often as you please, disregarding the beliefs of others, regardless of their sharing your view.

I loved and feared my father for who he was, not who I wanted him to be.

His power over me began when I was conceived, the result of a chain of events over which I had no control.

Same for the meteor shower tonight — all seven billion of us can think and believe away the meteors as hard as we want and they’ll just keep getting sucked into Earth’s gravitational pull or run into Earth as each follows its own path.

Our central nervous systems are capable of quite a lot.

We can imagine great skyscrapers in our dreams that become reality within years.

We can send satellites to the edge of our solar system within decades of conception.

Yet, we cannot stop the universe from existing around us.

The illusion of power that our social bonds create in the form of civilisations are hypnotic.

Shall I just live the rest of my life with the goal of having as much fun as I can, ignoring the social costs today and into the future, within my lifetime or for generations to come?

Can I survive on the luxuries that the profits I derived from living below my means for decades has provided?

I have, can and shall sit under the night sky and count meteor streaks.

I am not caring for the sick and lonely, instead.

I am the best example to myself of myself for myself that I choose to be.

I do not sacrifice myself for others — I am not a martyr for a cause.

I do not put the lives of overabundant animals or endangered species above that of my species.

The balance of nature is an illusion — or rather, sets of states of energy tend to move from areas of high density into areas of low density with lots of wiggle room in-between.

My father died, taking the unspoken nuances of his personal beliefs with him.  All I have to work with are the physical manifestations — his behaviours and personal/public records — upon which to act.

The vacuum where his personality existed is getting filled, changing with the mix of subcultures that interchange at different ratios than when Dad was alive.

Same as it was for his father and his father’s father before him.

Same as it will be for my nieces and nephews, their children and grandchildren.

They, for now, have my living mother’s shared subcultural beliefs with my father upon whom they depend on modifying their personalities for the sake of establishing their offspring’s belief sets.

We look up at the night sky and interpret the annual Geminid meteor shower in our own way.

As it always has been and always will be.

I’ve lost count — how many meteors have I seen disintegrating in Earth’s atmosphere tonight?