Isn’t this the craziest place you’ve ever seen?

[This is a personal blog entry to work out some issues – feel free to skip.]

In tearing away the self, nodes and filters reveal themselves for what they are or were.

And the pure rhythm of life taps, tappety-taps itself plainly.

Do I tell myself I exist and then see either the labels, or the entities behind the labels, of Paul, Bethany, Michelle, Denise, Steve, Charlie, etc.?

I…not a good sentence to start this train of thought.

Need to get past the personal, away from narcissistic mirror affirmation, and deeper/shallower.

Looking without sensing.

Throwing up unnatural barriers naturally.

So hypnotic, so seductive to be a self.

The eyes, the ears, the nose, tips of fingers sensing what a body should sense.

Right here in the middle of a dance with a wonderful partner and the split of I/not-I sensing an issue to be worked out but not on the dance floor.

Forgetting that this moment is all that exists – every thought is an illusion.

I do not exist.

All is all.

Perfumed bodies telling me otherwise.

A day like this I want to forget because the transition of I/not-I is too strong for I or not-I to deal with the issue in the moment that demands immediate attention and quick resolution.

What is time?

Does a second count any differently than twenty-four hours?

What is obvious to me is not obvious to the casual observer.

This day of meditation, when letting go of self was key, is shredded in the moment when what is left of me wants to enjoy the simple pleasure of spinning around the dance floor effortlessly, without thinking, without being not-me.

The music of my species and the steps of conjoined individuals soak up the energy devoted to removing the filters of self that hide the rhythm concealing the concept of truth upon which “I” exists as a blogger.

And then all the other labels fall in line.

All is all.

Wealth, happiness, humour…labels or facts?

Don’t talk about that which I do not want to exist in any form.

Different than the unexplainable.

Dig deeper.

Discard the obvious.

And yet, any and all words = the obvious as labels.

Something else entirely.

New?  Yes and no.

2011 is 26.8% complete, or thereabouts.

Fun as always but a difficult year, nonetheless.

Energy is limited.

The clock ticks.

Tonight, because of my Kenneth Cole tasselled loafers, I was labelled as a lawyer.

Perhaps I should have been.

Perhaps I am.

Another label, though.

It’s not always easy saying labels don’t apply.

But when the view of this planet from a great distance makes any nuances disappear, labels, what are they?

Every day, the similar body faces its previous self in the mirror, the skin a little less elastic than the day before.

Tick, tappety, tock.

Amid the noise and haste is a calm, straight pathway pointing forward.

Easily distracted?

Yes.

Forgetting where we’re going?

No.

Lost on the dance floor when the rhythmic flow of bigger issues beckon?

Indeed.

Resulting in a lost moment with graceful dancers.

That’s where “I” comes in and wonders if regret is what I should feel at a moment like this.

Nope.  In this alternate universe of a blog, I freely accepted the role of Committee leader, fully cognisant of the costs.

This blog is not real life and real life not this blog.

The fog of war is no excuse.

Cycles and spirals repeat their intersecting paths predictably.

Time to look at legal documents to make sure nothing is slipped in at the last minute under the fog of noise and haste to meet artificially-stimulated deadlines so that few can see what really just happened to them.

Which people are we fooling ourselves into thinking we’re going to fool?

How do I say that I don’t exist when every individual counts?

Hiking and dancing all week is exhausting.

Time to sleep and rest up for a real meditative session.

Then unveil the reveal once again, no matter how repetitive.

After all, I’m still a person, happily, noncommercially narcissistic as I am.

Every part of this universe is as important as every other.

Tonight, I was simply not light on my feet.

 

Reinventing the second

Sitting here, looking out at the world through the light-green filter of young spring leaves, watching birds swing from tree to tree, the hum of civilisation mixing with tinnitus…

Returning from a morning trance / meditation / daydream…

Having cleared out thoughts of self…

Watching sentiments tied to economic conditions change…

Noise and haste fuzzy from this perspective…

Words, like anchors, holding down, grounding flights to infinity and back…

…< >…

Returning to a morning trance / meditation / daydream…

=^..^=

Symbols meaningless today.

]:@@:[

/+@+\

%($_

uiu

,;

?

 

Bleak, beak, break

What is the most complex music, both rhythmically and harmonically?

And is music the sounds we think we hear, being the only species we see that create sound-modification tools?

With a whole universe at its disposal, wouldn’t a deity hear us as subatomic particles spinning around one atom in a cacophony of clashing galaxies?

When politics stops being about positioning for reelection, wake me up and I’ll comment about why the U.S. is no longer interested in direct military involvement in northern African regime change.

Simple duties first: circle the wagons and count your ammunition.

We had planned to show you who Obama really is after he finishes his run at U.S. President, whenever that is.

Impatience.

I’d rather deal with impatiens.

Or tracking the rare orange-tailed albino three-horned deer that still lives in the woods of the southeastern U.S. and lives on the rims of river canyons.

With 14,274 days left, the Committee wants to know the specifics of getting us to the milestone.

For those who worry we aren’t going to make it, I’ve created a calendar-based project timeline, dividing assignments into 1,000-day increments, figuring that’s about all the detail we need to get us there.  Visit with any Committee member to see the chart.

Google may be on its last days as one of the planet’s Internet gatekeepers.

Private rocketeers, in one form or another, play their part in the bigger picture.

The Walls of Jericho offer another surprise, when it’s dry.

There’s more to say but I don’t know how to tell you today.

Replenishing my supply line

You won't find it if you stop at the first set of falls.

I learned to share/compete from watching butterflies

Yesterday, while hiking in the (pardon me while I take a deep breath) Forever Wild Land Trust Walls of Jericho Tract Nature Preserve, Recreation Area, and Wildlife Management Area Addition, I thought very little about the rest of the world outside the preserve.

I gave a few minutes of thinking to the length of time we call an American Presidential term and how it relates to the life of a person (100% of a four-year old, 10% of a forty year old, etc.).

I wondered for a bit what the rest of my species was going to do about the change of political leadership in the area we now call Libya (Arabic: ‏ليبيا‎).

Otherwise, I lived in the sated stated of meditative marvelling.

Doesn’t matter to me if you have thoughts concerning an entity that would create the universe as we know it or thoughts that we are just random interacting states of energy.

I, because of my traditional thoughts given to me by a particular subcultural upbringing, was inclined yesterday to say, “Wow!  Thank You for this fantastic world You’ve given us, Lord.”

I’ll list the common names of blooming wildflowers I saw: foamflower, mountain phlox, Johnny jumpup, dogtooth violet, Indian corn/squawroot, club moss, white star grass, pipsissewa/spotted wintergreen, trout lily, trillium, wild geranium, bloodroot, dwarf crested iris, mayapple, puttyroot, little brown jug, rue anemone, and several whose common/Latin names I can’t remember anymore but were just as fascinating without human labels.

The dogwoods and redbuds were still in bloom.

Fern fronds curled out like they were just waking up from a winter slumber.

Mosses and lichens were at their saturated best.

Lady’s slipper orchids and buckeyes were several weeks away from blooming, I guess.

The view from the southern rim was great this time of year, with the lower waterfall clearly visible before trees leaf out.

Walls of Jericho lower falls - South Rim trail view, 6th Apr 2011

The second foot bridge had slipped sideways, making for an interesting walk across, aided somewhat by a rope hand railing.

The trail was more populated with our species than the hike in October.

No overnight campers but there was some politician/preacher type named Andy who was very informative about the creek crossing (“the water’s high, so it’s a ‘take your boots and wade’ day but worth it when you get to the other side’), three older guys from NW Alabama, one in jungle camo (they reminded me of military veterans trying to relive their glory days on bivouac), a middle-aged couple who hike this trail every spring (“There aren’t nearly as many bluebells [mountain phlox] as there have been the past couple of years.  You can’t never tell what a late winter’ll do to the timing of wildflower blooms, can you?”), a young couple who’d come to make a photoshoot in the woods, and two young guys looking to see who was faster to hike to the falls.

I thought the highlight of the trip, other than wildflowers and many wetweather creeks fully flowing, would be my hike along the South Rim trail which, incidentally, ended when I reached a part of the rim that looked like it was too precarious for this big-framed (i.e., close to obese) body to attempt edging along.  If I was in my twenties again, maybe.

But I snapped a few good photos from the rim and that was well worth the trip.

Or so I thought…

I had passed the three amigos back before the first foot bridge.

After hiking back down the south rim, I caught up with the three fellows as they clamoured along the edge of the bottom of the Walls of Jericho next to the creek.

I slipped up on them easily because they talked loudly with each other about common topics.

They also left footprints in wet spots on the trail so maybe they weren’t former scouts.

In any case, we arrived at the creek crossing at the base of the falls.

Because the creek bed is relatively dry most of the year, the rocks are covered with type of lichen that’s not slippery when wet.

Wearing old, porous New Balance shoes, I tiptoed across the the tops of rocks that were barely covered by the rushing water, using a hiking stick I picked up at the start of the trail as a kind of pole vault or third leg to propel me over places where a stepping stone was unavailable.

My shoes were damp but not soaked by the time I got to the other side of the creek.

The three guys had removed their hiking boots and socks and waded slowly across.

I left them behind and proceeded to a dry rock in the sun to eat my peanut-butter sandwich (thanks to Atlanta Bread for the loaves provided at the Rocket City Marathon, a few of which my wife and I had frozen) and trail mix (courtesy of Walmart) along with an apple and ample swigs of filtered water.

Watched a golden hawk fly over just as a jet left a contrail behind.  Great juxtaposition.

And now the best part.

My competitive self kicked in, seeing these old fellas, so I decided to shimmy up the face of the rock ledge that led to what I thought would be the upper pool of water.

After I got to the top, I found small pools of water, but no major source for the large volume of agua pouring out of the side of the mountain that formed the lower waterfall I saw from the South Rim trail.

I walked further “upstream,” hearing a roaring sound but seeing nothing, until…

SORRY! I CAN’T HEAR FOR THE HIDDEN WATERFALL!

Hidden around a bend, a good-sized waterfall (not Niagara or Victoria but more than the water pouring out of my tap at home) gushed over a ledge and down into a pit.

The spray of water rising from the pit painted a rainbow in midair.

More butterflies congregated around a sweet spot.

For lack of anything more creative to say, I was in awe of nature’s little surprises, like the ticks that appear out of nowhere on the most inconvenient places around my body.

Eventually, two of the guys arrived and were just as amazed as I was, because none of us had heard of this hidden waterfall, and we’d talked with several people who’d been here, we discovered in conversation while they snapped photos.

It was, to us, like being explorers finding the Fountain of Youth unexpectedly.

What grown-up kid doesn’t want to make that claim?!

I finished my bag of trail mix, looked at my watch (12:05, having started at the carpark at 9:15) and decided to hike out as fast as my tired but wobbly legs would let me, knowing I had dance lessons to rest up for later this evening.

The world keeps turning.

On the way out, I ran into the third fellow, who’d decided to return to the other side of creek and rest.

Either that, or be a lookout for the other two.  Who knows?  After all, I was a stranger to them and they joked several times about a stranger who could sneak up on them could just as easily shoot them and take their wallets.

Little do they know.

What’s a few hundred dollars to someone who manages a whole solar system? 😉

The way back was tougher than I remembered, taking me two hours to complete.

But then again, the last time I hiked this I hadn’t thrown in a South Rim trail excursion and a rock face climb to the (if not one of the) upper falls.  [But I had lost 20 pounds since then.  Oh well, cardiovascular workout is still missing from my daily regimen.]

At the carpark, I ate an apple and finished the rest of my two litres of water.  I could have drunk three.

I leaned the walking stick against the information signage and drove 45 miles homeward, back along the highway named after the author of the song, “Green, Green Grass of Home,*” an appropriate melodic image to end this blog with.

[*Which might explain why “What’s New, Pussycat?” was playing in my head as I was climbing back up toward the carpark.  Pop music gets in your thoughts and waits for quiet moments to let you know you’re part of something bigger socially and your brain can hold more than you think you know.]

YouTube has many versions of the classic, including, of course, Porter Wagoner.  For alternatives, try Dennis Brown or Delroy Wilson.

More v

Oh, horse hockey!

Beetle parked on the driveway

Swath cut through deciduous backyard jungle for TVA high power lines

Another friendly visitor likes BMW boots

Backyard zoo animals on parade

Sideyard zoo animals in camouflage mode

Southern Paradiso

Lines and curves branching out

Superhero in disguise as the Blue-Winged Wasp!

Natural communication network

Word of the day: Orthogonal frequency-division multiplexing (ODFM) – patterns, patterns everywhere, but are we communicating clearly?

"There'll always be a Lancer in your future," fortune cookie said.

A Valiant will do in a pinch.

C&E Club members ready for the Easter Parade

A smashing good time was had by all!

Four score and eight years ago my mother brought forth two cakes.

Still dancin' after all these years...

My secondary school campus, built to disguise the spaceship

My 85-year old grandmother doing her Minnie Pearl impression, ~1996

Three Amigos, Feline-Style

Merlin the Magician at six months

Beware of geeks bearing recycling symbols

Monica and Christy, May 1991

Monte Sano Lodge, February 1990

Learning how to dance badly, on purpose

22.5-inch step, kinda like dancin' in a marching band

Maternal grandparents, circa 1924

BATSE delivery to orbit via Space Shuttle Atlantis, April 1991

Easter, 1988 - Dad, Mom, me

My paternal grandfather (nonbiological), retired chief warrant officer, aka Santa Claus

My sister and me - 1981

End of a football career and start of my engineering/business career path, age 9

There's more than dancin' goin' on in Huntsville!

Georgia Tech freshman, 1980

Coffee, tea, or me?

One score and five years ago, I married an angel.

If only cats could play Jeopardy, we'd be rich!

Well, that's all for now. See you again soon. Got mice to catch!

Blog entry for family members – thanks for stopping by.

We return you to your regular journalism-style, op-ed blog.

..

14,276 24-hour periods to go but the sunshine tells me this moment facing the Sun is another mental holiday.

Clogged arteries are calling my name, too.

Who is the replacement I am training and is that entity ready to take over?

Meditation tells me to let go of daily worries, ignore the headlines others have created to sell adverts, and neither creatively praise nor criticise the activities outside my personal space today.

Amen.

Delivery trucks rushing down suburban lanes

“Was it a cute movie?”

“Yeah, it was cute.”

“I wish I had kids.  I mean, I wish I had kids, not my own, to take to see movies like that.  All the kids in my family live in Mississippi and Florida.”

“Well, there’s always Big Brothers, Big Sisters.”

“Uh-huh.  But what if I just want to pick up a kid to play putt-putt or go to a movie and nothing else?”

“My wife used to tutor a kid.”

“Yeah, she needed help but all she wanted me to do was finish her homework for her.  I couldn’t get her to understand that I was there to teach her how to practice addition and subtraction on her own.”

“See, that’s what I mean.  I can take a kid to a kid’s movie and us have a good time laughing at the silly jokes, but trying to teach math!  Well…”

“But there’s always a chance you’ll be good with kids.”

“Me?  Naw.”

“Hey, I say the same thing.  My friends say the opposite, that I have an uncanny sense what it’s still like to be a kid and thus able to talk with a kid as if we were both grown-ups and kids at the same time.  I bet you do, too.”

“Like I said, all my family’s somewhere else.”

“Yeah, all our nieces and nephews are grown up.”

“Where does that leave us, then?”

“Good question.  Love life for all it’s worth, I suppose.”

“There’s always dancing.”

“Yes, the world is our dance floor, is it not?”

“What if we sponsored a night just for children to learn to dance?  Underprivileged, privileged, coordinated, uncoordinated, special needs, nonspecial needs, it wouldn’t matter.  Just bring kids together to show them we can all have fun.”

“Hmm…it might work.  How would it differ from school-sponsored dances like sock hops or proms, or formal programs like ballet and jazz?”

“Well, instead of bringing the kids here, we could take our show on the road, so to speak, and get schools to turn recess time into dance lessons.”

“That’s a great idea.  I know many parents who would rather see their children waltzing than in an embrace on the floor that you couldn’t slide a piece of paper through.”

“I’ll call around to the nearby school districts and ask if they’d be up for this.”

“Hey, don’t ask.  Tell them why it’s good for the kids.  If you give someone a yes/no question, the answer is often no.”

“Okay.  Will you join us for teaching the kids?”

“No!  Just kidding.”

“Ha.  Ha.”

“Sure, I’m interested.”

“It’s like the perfect plan, you know.  We help the kids learn something new that includes math…you know, 1,2,3, 1,2,3…and have fun at the same time.  Plus, we’re not committing ourselves to any one kid for a long period of time.”

“I think you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right!  Who doesn’t have fun dancing?”

“Now that you mention it, there were a lot of kids in my school who never attended a single school-sponsored dance.  I know some were too ‘cool’ or cynical to go to official group functions.  Some felt they weren’t ‘cool’ enough, being physically awkward or thinking there was something socially unacceptable about them.  And a few lived in families that were opposed to any kind of coeducational experience, dancing or otherwise.”

“Yeah?  So what about them?”

“Well, if we have a captured audience, so to speak – all the kids in a particular school, grade or classroom – do you think we could get ’em all to try dancing?”

“Let’s find out!”

“Absolutely.  This is more exciting than I imagined.”

“Why don’t you put together a short history lesson we can throw in to show the children that dancing is an important part of their culture, no matter where they came from?”

“I’m already on it!  And I’ll even demonstrate that clumsiness is the better part of valour, or something like that, so the uncoordinated cynical types have less to sneer at.  Maybe something for the ‘goth‘ and ‘emo‘ types, too?”

“That’s the spirit!  See you next week!”

“And you stay light on your feet.”

Do they still make typewriter paper?

Do you ever find yourself in the attic talking to the squirrels, raccoons, wasps, spiders or skinks that want to set up residence in your humble abode?

How many houses around the world have folding ladders you pull down so you climb into the unheated/uncooled space between roof and living quarters?

I don’t think of myself as a regional writer, although I primarily write from the first person viewpoint as if the writer’s output you read is from/about me.

The millions I’ve laundered through Mexico, the poppy fields I pay to have harvested in Afghanistan, the stock trades I make that never happen to get reported to any regulators or tax collectors – these may or may not be real or related to the person some call Rick.

My programmers, the best that stolen raw diamonds can buy, ensure the storyline here wanders from one end to the other of the universe, trying to stay within the confines of NAmE language rules.

Some days, they want to tell a story I do not approve and occasionally they get their stories told.

Only because I let them.

The donkey must get a bite of carrot every now and then to keep believing the whole vegetable is within reach.

The fortuneteller gives me advice that is mostly useful.

The Book of the Future flies open to pages I’ve never seen before.

The crystal ball gathers dust no matter how clean I keep the room or how often I change the whole house air filter.

People talk and I put their words to use here, both as a roman à clef (as opposed to Ramen noodle) trick and as an homage to the fascinating people I meet.

Standing in the attic, changing out an incandescent light bulb probably for the last time, I watched the reflective eyes of a baby raccoon stare at me uncertainly.

Certainly.

At my feet, old aquarium parts, a broken aquarium stand, many chewed-up cardboard boxes with Easter decorations spilled out into the loose-fill fiberglass insulation, and the Smith-Corona electric typewriter from my college days.

“Well, buddy, looks like it’s just you and me today,” I say in a condescending voice, like a father disappointed once again that his child has wandered past the imaginary fenceline between two backyards.

The raccoon moves further back into the uninsulated part of the attic where the roof meets the eave.

I put the burned-out light bulb in my pants pocket and walk closer to the raccoon.

“Any chance I can scare you out of here?”

The raccoon doesn’t move.

I roar as loud as I can.

The raccoon shrinks smaller.

I step closer.

The raccoon doesn’t move.

I am unable to crawl close enough to grab the raccoon.

But I am able to scare out a skink and stare straight at a spindly attic spider.

If only the raccoon would help out at this moment and create a funny, slapstick scene worth writing about.

You know, running and jumping onto my shoulders.

Or biting my outstretched hand.

Or a wasp sting me on my behind.

Instead, the raccoon looks at me like it doesn’t know if I’m the big daddy of raccoons that will eventually feed this hungry baby or I’m something which the baby should assume nothing kind will emanate from.

After all, this baby has limited experience interfacing with living beings.  It probably chased a skink or two, played with its siblings (any that hadn’t wandered out of the attic and been eaten by the neighbourhood hawk or owls), and fed from its mother.

“What shall we do, little one?”

I get up off my hands and knees, standing in the peak of the attic.

I wonder if I could reink the typewriter ribbon.

Nope.  It uses an ink cartridge.

“Well, you’re on your own until your parents get back.  I’m not in the mood to stomp around.  Don’t make any noise tonight so my wife won’t hear you and I’ll let you grow up with this warm, dry shelter for your resting place.”

I step around the crushed and broken Christmas ornaments, climb down and push the folding stairs back up into place.

The Smith-Corona can wait another day for a nostalgic attempt at typing college-age poetry.  I suppose inkjet or laser printer paper will work just as well as the thin typewriter paper I used to buy at the offcampus bookstore in the early 1980s.

T-A-N-G-O, and tango was its name-oh!  Thanks to Dana for giving my wife and me a new way to spin around the dance floor.

Thanks to Robert at Krystal for the latenight snack.  Dr. April Ralph, I guess I need your professional opinion about my middle-aged back.  Berkshire Hathaway made a wise decision, it appears – I congratulate any decision that clears the deck of questionable swabbies.

Eyes reflected in a wall of mirrors.  What can I say?

 

The Dance of Shells In Their Chicks

Have you ever listened to Moussorgsky compositions played on harp or guitar?  Which version did you like better?

…sound waves versus radio waves versus ocean waves…

Have you ever watched rain on a duck’s back?

Tonnes of water darken the sky – falling in droplets, rushing through the wet weather creek bed – the gulley washer dragging leaves, small pebbles, and colloidally suspended dirt particles to lower elevations.

How do snails hide from rain?

Does thunder rattle your brain?

My thoughts float on instrumental folk guitar notes.

An apple disappears into my digestive tract.

I am tuned out and tuned in.

Free to express my thoughts, wondering about the following phrase: “…or a corporation to which many gave up (or agreed in their thoughts to delay expressing) their personal beliefs in order to provide food and shelter for themselves and their families in a generic socially-acceptable setting).”

For what are you willing to give up being yourself, as rational or random or randomly rational as you want to be at any moment?

Do you support every form of open source?

I say I follow my instincts because I have no better way to express how I feel the moment flow through the me that does not exist.

Words are a limited form of expression but easy to assemble.

I choose to entertain myself with these words.

One-upping is not my goal, just the feeling that I was a unique example of myself as one member of my species in a split-second of a moment.

Micro/macro trends are a byproduct of being a person at my age, surfing the lifestyles of the rest of the members of my species in the global socio-politico-loco-ecosystem, pushing buttons and pulling levers in this alternate universe of a blog.

Any resemblance to what you call reality is coincidence.

Your lives are so much more interesting, varied and wonderful than one blog could hope to capture.

Be fruitful and multiply.  If you can’t do that, do whatever else expresses you at your best or worst, at your leisure.

The last strummed note of the guitar fades.

And with that, this blog entry closes.

Dance as if everyone is looking to see you re/learn what being you is all about from one fantastic moment to the next!