I keep having this thought but forget to write about it:

My wife sees me in terms of having a job so that we can have health insurance and a financially-secure retirement.

Therefore, I have long assumed, reinforced by society at large, that is how everyone else must perceive me.  After all, my father often said that he was proud of my accomplishments, having gone farther than he had in business but at the same time disappointed I hadn’t gone farther in educational degrees than he had (and not having joined the Masonic organisation), confusing me that his love of me seemed dependent on external achievements.

What if, instead, people perceive me the same way I perceive myself, as a person who modestly recreates his thoughts/observations in stories, comics, cartoon videos, satirical blog entries and such?

What if they actually like me for who I am, regardless of financial/business/educational accolades?

Why do I have to perpetuate self-hatred to feel that I have inadequately met the perceived needs of my wife and father?

Does it take leaving my wife behind in order for me to reach self-actualisation, putting aside the perceived requirements of my subculture of monogamous marriage for life?

I’m not the only one who has asked himself/herself that question.

The answers, though somewhat common, are never the same.

Now, maybe I can relax my thoughts and focus on creating a way to give away my creations in exchange for investment/labour credits from others.