Arduino and Android – A Match Made in Haven

Today, my scientists gave me a bag of parts to see if I could recreate the discovery they made.

Inside the bag was an Arduino board, a Sylvania Android tablet, a alcohol breathalyser and miscellaneous parts.

Within a couple of hours, I analysed the software installed on the two computer systems and deduced what my illustrious, if not esteemed, colleagues had pieced together for themselves.

Combining a voiceprint system with language dialect detection, the breathalyser signals are broken down by the Arduino, which coordinates with the Android tablet to create a personality profile, including a medical report on the person who breathes into the breathalyser, looks into the webcam and speaks several phrases at a precise rate of speed tailored to the individual test subject.

The software determines the approximate location of the person’s upbringing, compares the person’s speech patterns against a database of people observed in public CCTV/private webcam situations from the same subculture, analyses minute mouth/tongue/throat movement and breath contents to produce a health profile.

As a byproduct, the software guesstimates the type of childhood education the subject received and its effectiveness, using the audiovisual techniques given during the speech pattern testing portion of the software’s mini-exam.

Government-approved public education systems have already requested multiple copies of this “Arduinoidalyser,” in hopes that the software test results can be used in place of standardised classroom testing to predict a child’s future place in society without stigmatising the child’s testtaking abilities in comparison to other children.

Teachers who like the “tip the bottle,” as the saying goes, have asked that the breathalyser portion be turned off should the teachers have to submit themselves to the Arduinoidalyser for benchmarking.

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Meanwhile, the Chinese government today demanded that all retailers carrying authentic/counterfeit footwear designed/manufactured by/for Wolverine Worldwide are officially banned because the Wolverine corporation makes footwear for the U.S. military and thus must be a covert spy operating on Chinese soil.

The U.S. government denied any direct covert surveillance connection to Wolverine.

After seeing the Wolverine Worldwide press release, Marvel Comics has decided to sue the Wolverine corporation for the use of the name of one of their most popular cartoon characters.

Wolverine Worldwide immediately countersued, saying they’ll grind their boots in the face of an comic book hero that never really served in the military.

The University of Michigan, in order to avoid controversy, has changed its mascot to the Persian Rugs in recognition of the changing democratics demographics in the Great Lakes state.

Usted es un colombiano experto en SEO, ¿no? Por lo tanto, hermanos, os encomiendo.

Here lies an outlier

As we get to know more and more about each other, we will grow more comfortable accepting each other’s subcultural differences, appreciating how the definition of success can vary so widely that it almost seems impossible seven billion varieties point to the same thing: our species’ survival and growth.

Yes, it includes fear, crime, ecosystem disasters, economic failures and myriad ways in which the universe we live does not always point toward our survival and growth.

Dust particles — small fibers, short hair, unidentifiable tiny, twisted objects — seemingly oblivious to gravity, float through a beam of sunshine propped up between the writing desk and the dirty window.

A few days ago, I visited with some friends whose father recently died.  My friends and I had spent a few years together in primary and secondary school over 30 years ago.  One friend I hadn’t seen in at least 35 years.

Needless to say, we knew little about one another except what we have seen in the past couple of years while sharing space on a computer server farm spread across data centers around the world dedicated to an online social media website called facebook.

In other words, we had little to say to each other in person that we didn’t already know, or should have remembered seeing in our online personality profile.

The moment was there for comfort at the time of loss of the family patriarch.

Soothing words.

Fond memories of our youth spent under the guidance of a chemical research/sales engineer and literal/figurative father figure.

I cough, sending dust particles on a swirling dance out of and back into the sunlight, which then disappears with clouds passing overhead, reappearing a few minutes later at a new angle, attached to the bright, yellow glob amidst the blue-painted dome high above.

An airplane swoops and circles the patch of sky nearby, making the sounds of the television playing a movie called “The Longest Day” seem live and in real 3D viewing/listening closeness.

After visiting with the friends, my wife and I returned to her mother’s house, continued our sorting through physical reminders of my wife’s mother, father and brother, all deceased.

My wife’s nuclear family is no more, except in her memories.

Her brother’s widow and children still live.  She has cousins spread around the globe.  And her family by marriage — my blood relatives, including nuclear family (father, mother, sister), as well as extended family (nieces, nephew, cousins, aunt, uncle, etc.).

My friends’ father lived for 84 365-day, 24-hour cycles around our local star.

As the planet spun, my friends’ family influenced those they met, all of them tied to Earth by gravity, the curvature of spacetime, we surmise.

We can see the familial influence through the eyes of the intersection of sets of states of energy, adding meme upon meme, including the word “meme,” to build physical representations of ideas like “idea,” to arrive at the point where schoolmates meet 30+ years later to reminisce about a few years spent in growing up together toward adulthood.

Did any of the dust particles floating in the air at the church where, due to one death, we met to talk about good times in childhood attach themselves to me and then re-enter the airspace in the sunbeam not far from this computer?

What about the particles I can’t readily see, such as water molecules, bacteria, dead skin cells or other microscopically miniscule minutiae?

We are connected in ways we rarely take time to notice, if we can see the connections at all.

How do I explain a blog post composed only of pictures to a blind person who uses a Braille keyboard and automatic audible reader?

How do I explain wireless radio pathways between a notebook computer and wireless router to people who can’t feel or don’t communicate signals at a wavelength of 0.125 m or about 5 inches?

Although… you know, some people say they can feel 2.4 GHz radio waves and other phenomena they claim causes them radiowave/EMF sickness.

But let’s get back to the global story of our lives, where financial gurus want to prop up a system that is no longer a viable connection between the macro and microeconomic levels…