FBI, Scotland Yard show “feminine” side, ultrasensitive over hacked call

In case you missed it earlier this week, a hacker group that unimaginatively calls itself Anonymous claimed to have intercepted a private call between employees of the U.S. government nationalised socialistic security company commonly called the FBI and its sister organisation across the Big Pond, mistakenly called Scotland Yard.

Spokespeople for both organisations, on the right and on the left of the political spectrum, but most tending toward the middle, have cried over their prepared written statements about how they feel hurt and betrayed, ultrasensitive to the revelation that, despite what seems like an obvious discussion about tracking hackers of many ages and skill levels, they were, in fact, caught using simple school-age decoder-ring messages to cover up the rival groups talking about how much they’d bet on today’s NFL Super Bowl game to be played in Indianapolis, Indiana, Indian Territory, Native American Land, the United States of America squeezed between Indian Reservations.

The FBI and Scotland Yard refuse to disclose how much the participants in the phone call were punished for resorting to bad cryptography practice but most especially wasting valuable public resources to bet portions of their publicly-funded salaries on a rigged ballgame, its outcome already determined in a smoke-filled bar in the ‘burbs of Chicago last night, as most socialistic security company officials should know, having received training during the class “How to Recognise and Profit from Professional Sports Points Shaving and Win Ratio Fixing” in their third year of indoctrination school, given to encourage agents to supplement their income without succumbing to outright bribery.

Other news agencies have already posted the retranslated transcript so we won’t waste space here explaining the true meaning behind phrases like “Dunkin Donuts,” “jewel in England’s crown,”or “A smack from mum or dad might be behind it all.”  Besides, we’re a family-oriented publication!

Meanwhile, the hacker group formerly known as Anonymous is regrouping, embarrassed that their supposed great day in hacking was exposed as a slipup in the basics of Sky Kids 101.  Rumour has it that the group will rename itself Ignoramus or Hackedoff.

The stuff of life

A nod to food lover’s celebration of National Croissant Day.

Last night, while I was working on the computer, my wife watched a television show centered on competing celebrity cooks.  One of the cooks, named Rachael, commented that a guest on the show, her publicist, was her closest friend only because she paid him to be (or something like that).  I’m sure she was joking but the look on the guy’s face…well, I won’t watch another show with my wife when that particular celebrity cook is on.  Either her jokes fall flat or her friends are being paid enough to pretend to like her.

Besides, here in the States, the quinessential professional sporting event that centers on husky guys bashing their minds to pieces is coming up — the NFL Super Bowl, of course.

Speaking of which, will the Indianapolis Colts survive as a/n inter/national brand if a new quarterback takes the helm from an elitist school like Stanford?  It’s one thing to be good or even great at the position — it’s another to be the complete “regular guy” package, John Elway an example of the exception rather than the rule.

Enough of the chattering.  Time to give the reluctant leader his word on the state of the world economy:

Last night, as the Committee debated whether Greece should be more intricately tied into the global indebtedness scheme or cast aside as worthless chattel, I looked at the Committee members’ face, hooded as they are beneath a variety of caps, hats, hairstyles and heavy eyelids.

What were they thinking?  I can look back at supercomputer analysis of their previous behaviour and make a well-educated guess as to what they’ll do/say next, but in those moments before they speak or act, can I assess, can I surmise, can I imagine the vast difference between how their brains work and how the brains work of non-Committee members?

Therefore, I turned up the sensitivity of the brain readers mounted in the walls, floor, and ceiling of the room to answer my question.

The results amazed me.  It was not only the individual brains that astounded but also the smooth transition between chemical emissions of the individuals, basically how their/our whole bodies acted as one at the molecular level, that impressed me.

Which made me realise we are one species on one planet as always.

No matter how we decide to treat the disparity between the Greek economic output and monetary inflow, we must still deal with them — the Greek people and their in/efficient enterprising ways — as part of our species’ total interaction.

In other words, if the density of people per square hectare in certain parts of the world — I’m thinking of India and China, especially, but can think of other places, too, such as Bangladesh — encourages them to continue their outward migration, would Greece remain Greece if the traditional inhabitants loosely associated with descendancy from those Greeks who formed what we think of classic Greek art/architecture/philosophy/science (i.e., “Ancient Greece“) were completely replaced with people from other cultures, who may or may not have completely assimilated?

You get where this going, don’t you?  Are the Committee members dedicated to preserving Greece as the seat or foundation of Western Civilisation even if the people of Greece are no longer related to the founders of Ancient Greece?

Ultimately, are economic decisions purely economic?  After all, we aren’t unemotional robots moving numbers in a spreadsheet.  Culture still plays a part in our daily lives.

How do we want sub/culture — past, present and future — to influence us at the superficial and molecular level?

I guess the reluctant leader would like a view 1000 years from now to tell him which decisions worked best, wouldn’t he?

Let’s save that view for another blog entry.  Time for more music…