I received a report from the Womyn Who’ll Rule Them All (W2RTA) subcommittee last night.

According to female covert operatives embedded in northen Africa and the Middle East, the centuries-long struggle to overthrow the male-dominated religiososociopolitical structure is nearing completion.

They move forward toward electing themselves a leader who will convert the old polygamists to slaves serving the New Motherland.

“For millennia, our foresisters led worship of the female earth mother goddess,” Nesa’abkeldelah said in the soft, confident tone of a well-trained member of the High Sisterhood. “We allowed the men the opportunity to rule, just to prove to them their short-term leadership mentality, like their habit behind bedroom doors, was not good for our species. It is time we took our rightful place again and restored the true balance of nature.”

Male leaders in Syria, Iran, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, Israel, and Libya deny their current domestic population disturbances are gender-related.

U.S. and EU advisors in Libya would not comment for this story, although several of them were seen reading Mother Earth News and wearing distinctive female goddess figurines on necklaces.

Local rumours imply all the advisors have hidden tattoos and hot-iron brands of the High Sisterhood trademarked symbol.

When reached for comment, Hillary Clinton would not address the 1990s-era magazine profile that stated she was the man in her relationship with Bill or a recent newspaper article that said she is the man in her relationship with Obama.

Libyan leader-until-death-do-us-part Moammar Qaddafi and Syrian president Basha Assad said they were willing to show more of their feminine side but refused to wear Western-style women’s clothing, insisting that desert robes were not excuses for men to wear dresses.

Through his soothsayer spokesperson in a seance, Yassar Arafat said that he often wore women’s undergarments beneath his PLO clothing, giving him a better understanding of his people’s struggles for respect and legitimacy. In fact, he wore a scarf atop his clothes to honour his mother.

Menachim Begin and J. Edgar Hoover were not available before this post-post-deadline story was finally posted on the worldwide news wire after Amazon fixed its decades-old data center problems.

On the entertainment front, the Baldwin brothers are often proudly seen shopping for this season’s stiletto pumps they wear on moose-hunting exhibitions with Merkel and Jillard.

This is Jose de la Hessler-Chan-Wolezski, the ever-vigilant journalist/correspondent spy, reporting on Earth Day for Sky & Telescope magazine.

Tune in next week to read about fashion tips to consider on your holiday trip to the International Space Station, featuring Hu Jintao and Richard Branson showing off the latest Vera Wang tresses.

Remember, you don’t tell me what I want to hear and my network will make sure you fail the newspaper test with flying colours.

Keep looking skyward!!!