Go Cart On Steroids

A list of people/organisations to thank floats on silken spider threads in the wind, seeking a spot to make web connections.

The web of thoughts in this aging brain looks to clear the dust, lint and dead skin cells that slow the route to a spider’s hold on life.

A tabby cat takes a scent inventory of a truck that pulled up into a neighbour’s graveled backyard.

A steady heart, 60-70 bpm, indicates a life without 30-60 minutes of aerobic exercise a day.

Naptime, while people do whatever they do to define their hold on life.

For me in this moment, a little drool and heavy eyelids define my life exceedingly well.

Centering My Thoughts

In/on a world of inter/inner fighting/competing species/states of energy sits a creature looking for a buffet of insects readily available in trimmed lawns interconnected in a suburban landscape.

Kelli smiles.

She serves a few customers in Pizza Hut on a sunny Thursday morning at the edge of town.

A Sysco food delivery truck passes by.

The old National Guard armory and recruiting center sits empty.

Land cleared for a shopping centre when times were good and plans for moneymaking schemes flowed like fool’s good out of city fathers’ minds grows weeds without profit in mind for insects, birds and wildflower watchers.

The local university extension campus attracts those who hunger for knowledge and better job prospects.

A mansion holds its aristocratic head high.

Kelli perspires while the billionaire Olsen twins appear on TV as time-rewound youngsters “acting” in a studio to resemble life in a full house.

Government authorised murder takes place around the world, the leaders denying and in denial.

Hyphenated hyena housesitters host herbal henna hen hosemakers happily hopping hats hissing hissy fits, fittingly fxed.

Suddenly, the Bob Newhart Show comes to mind, reminding one that two generations of sitcoms and one generation of Internet/web sensation videos have slipped under the bridge since this writer attended the UT/ETSU Kingsport extension center.

Time to wish Kelli well and pick up a repaired Siemens hearing aid with one-year warranty for 200 buckeroos.

What?

Asked Medicare inspector to write down my comments about treatment of mother in-law.

She told me to have a nice day.

What else did she not write down today?

Who inspects the inspectors?, I wonder introspectively…

What are their credentials and do they follow their own procedures?

Where’s a good whistleblower when you need one?

Horatio, sound the horns! We’re off to Sri Lanka to bait some Chinese junks.

My father’s chair at the dinner table

Adverts we’d like to see:

“One euro of this sale goes toward saving the environment; the other 48.99 euros go toward destructing it.”

I sit in the captain’s chair from which my father ruled family mealtimes when I was a child.

I have the good fortune to continue to see my father in this chair at least once a year, usually around Christmastime, looking at his kids and grandkids eating food prepared by my mother.

Today, my childhood next-door neighbour, David Salley, and I returned to our parents’ houses for silent prayers/meditation concerning our wives’ mothers.

David’s parents have passed on to the other realm, as they say.

He and I are our fathers’ age, or older than, when we lived next door to each other.

David is a Christian minister, quite a good one, I hear, a man his father and mother would gladly call their son.

David moved out of his parents’ house in 1976 or ’77. I moved out of this house in 1980, with a short stint or two in the early ’80s.

Thirty plus years later, here we are, seeking…

What have we found?

What do we hear when we listen to the seemingly infinite, eternal voice of the universe as we know it, no matter how we see and define/anthropomorphise it?

Mr. Salley was not only a great father but also a jack-of-all-household tasks.

In addition to his open-to-use workshop/tool shed of a basement, he made elderberry and other local berry-based wines that he shared, as well as belonged to one or more civic organisations like the Masonic Lodge.

Mrs. Salley was the perfect mother next-door.

She always had a snack to share and a warm kitchen that naturally invited us starving kids playing out on the street or shooting hoops in the backyard.

I understand the attraction David has to the house.

Right now, I look at the tree on which Mr. Salley hung goldfinch seed bags.

I fully expect to see him in the yard discussing something with my dad, or my mother and Mrs. Salley talking in one or the other’s carport.

Forty year-old memories, some of them.

Time does not exist, huh?

We are just states of energy?

Churches want spiritual nuts, not religious nuts, where a person is ready to live when that person has prepared to die.

A bluejay and a grackle argue over the birdbath in the Salleys’ backyard.

My niece has a wallet a friend made out of camo duct tape.

If we’re in the habit of laying our problems and emotional issues at the feet of our parents when they are alive, what do we do when they’re gone?

The universe/deities we call our own speak to us through our family, friends and neighbours.

We don’t always listen.

I thank David for being here today to share the kind of quiet neighbourly moment in which we middle-aged men can share the emotional pain of seeing our wives and mothers in-law suffer while we’re supposed to be rocks of support without our parents to readily lean upon.

God may be in control but, without a crystal ball, it’s not always easy to wait to find out what’s going to happen next.

Compra Aqui, Paga Aqui

Cryptic sign du jour: SI-VN11.

What about Janet, who couldn’t sit for a moment waiting for a hairdo change ahead of me at Smart Cuts?

Her loss was my gain.

I sat with a cheerful young woman who scissored my follicle output down to a summer trim, serenading me about her future attempt at making a SpongeBob sheet cake for her four-year old daughter’s birthday (“I’ll use a melonball cutter to carve out the sponge holes. What colour should the holes be – darker or lighter than his body?”) and something about a dinosaur train show on the tellie.

Her ex-husband is still a good friend.

She wants to take an f…lobotomy…no, a phlebottomoose…well, a class on needles and blood in order to become an EMT. Her stylist coworker wants to finish her academic studies in nursing.

Later, observing drivers, passengers and automotive transport machines parade past while scribbling notes in a carpark between Riverside Avenue and Fairview Lane, I contemplated titling this “Road Closed to Thru Traffic- Bump Ahead” to honour road construction crews dealing with unruly, roadsign-ignoring drivers.

A nod to Sullivan County EMS – Paramedic Unit, Country Tyme Primitives, and the tie-wearing friendly employees of La Carreta #3 who will have Bohemia beer in the future for those who want what they want and don’t have to ask twice.

Thanks to Holly and Robert at Walmart, Linda H at Walgreens.

On a side note, interesting to watch my dyslexic typing, an indication that I can’t easily resubstitute family matters for central nervous system locations (including external clues) I normally use to feel the rhythm of the universe around me.

Dadgum, these here emotion-like neurochemical states of energy are a mess to deal with, sometimes.

On the Front Porch Across the Fence

While maple helicopters fly through the air, I listen to pledge pleaders with ducks and geese sunning in the hot spring heat at the river park in front of Netherland Inn.

Meanwhile, a double cheeseburger and fries churn in my belly after a Dairy Hart fuel’d conversation with Teresa Carpenter, a Kingsport Times-News correspondent who writes the Tuesday column “Across The Fence” in the voice of a neighbour who chats with passing neighbours.

She and her hubby, former CTs (crypto techs) for the U.S. military, speaking Spanish (more Panamanian than Cuban) and German/Russian, have lived around the world, including Japan, Vietnam, Germany (two tours for total of seven years), U.S. and almost Italy.

At Church Hill H.S., he dealt with a principal who ruled like a former Marine that he was. In high school, she attended a speech class which operated a mock model government that debated snack food and drink, an excuse to eat and drink in class.

He left Church Hill and joined the military to get out from under the Carter’s Valley shadow of his father, who knew everyone and everyone knew him. She remembers when she was a kid hearing sonic booms in Aberdeen and stopping in Kingsport at a diner with pretty peonies when her family was heading north up Hwy 11W and I-81 to visit family in New England.

They wish for high-speed Internet access in Stanley Valley not depending on bouncing signals off orbiting satellites because ADSL does not reach them and dialup is inefficiently sufficient.

Two kids – one married and one in school.

Thanks to Church Hill EMS, Jackson Lawn Service, Hawkins Co. Gas Utility, Crown Vending, Bullseye Guns and Supply, radio replay of the 1920s Bristol music sessions, Hawkins Co. Courthouse bee movers and Michelle Hensley of Dairy Hart.

Teresa interviewed me -let’s see if she columnises me or mentions me on her blog, http://southernfriedtravel.com.

This is Rick, not Nina Totin’ Burgers, reporting from the streets where you live, as opposed to the rare and fried air of supersized supreme benchsitting judges. Thanks to river game warden patrols.

Cowboy bikes and catching big fish

A list of thanks to start the day: Sir Randall, Grainger County Keith and Charleston Zach at Express Oil Change; smiling Harvey the dedicated Rehab Tech, Justin, Lucy Barnett, Rachel Ellis, Tasha-Marie Olinger, Courtney Camper and all the other helpful people at Asbury Place; Medicare/Medicaid inspectors; Cherry Murray for her [cough, cough] rational/logical presentation of oil vs. nuclear industrial safety issues to a committee (the Committee will remember you well).

Lottery numbers for the day: 003KLY, 241RTS/Catch22.

How long do I ignore the obvious; that is, that credit rating agencies have stopped serving their purpose as objective rather than politically-motivated organisations beholden to a group of profit-mongering…

I apologise for that outburst. The Committee has reminded me that I can no longer claim to be a man of the people now that they have their clutches on me in the form of the NDA I signed to not be able to tell you more about the unexplainable.

They’ll release information proving I’m just as much a profit mongerer as the best/worst of them if I insist on the preletariat social program re/revolutionary reform movement line of reasoning.

But seriously, who’s watching the people who run the credit agencies and the perks they get in after-hour dinner parties, golfing holidays and casual lunges…err, I mean lunches at fancy restaurants?

Do people buy china in China?

My mother in-law learned to love her daughter in-law even though she almost didn’t bless her son’s engagement to a person without a college degree and/or a hefty dowry to offer (but who ended up being a good intellectual companion).

Now she faces a similar situation with her grandson, not wanting to attend a wedding for a marriage that in good conscience she cannot bless for the same reasons at this time, wondering about college potential, or academic/intellectual curiosity.

I’ve tried to assure her this is a normal social practice of the woman or man seeking to improve his/her social situation through the legal auspices of consensual cohabitation, often assuming a chemical/quantum formula called love.

We sit here – she is napping and I am watching the traffic jam of popular rehab personnel exercising the patients patiently up and down the hall.

Thanks to the City of Kingsport nonpotable water street cleaning crew.

Time to close. Family issues take priority over global economic management concerns. Time for a breathing treatment, lunch and rehab evaluation/summary with Rachel Ellis (goal: return to independent living, reached one occupational step at a time, helped by Jill and others).

The mirror in the mirror is staring back at me

I step away from the Committee and look what happens. They’ll just have to wait.

Yes, this country’s governmental legislative leaders are caught in a vise of shrt-trm visions.

On one hedged bet, revive the economy with government bloat.

On another, restore solvency to prevent disaster.

To whom/what are your leaders most loyal?

In a global economy, any entity can legally line your representative’s retirement account with golden threads.

Does a country really matter to a person like me with investments spread around the world that leech like a parasite the profitable skin off workers’ backs?

If you don’t care to follow your representative around 24 hours a day to see what that person is doing to save your country from going bankrupt, who will?

How secure is my stock portfolio if my country isn’t?

Buy your beer with your interest, not your principal.

What are your principal principles?

To think the way I do requires few friends, unfortunately, because my thoughts are fanned out and filled with impossible-to-resolve contradictory sub/cultural belief structures.

My wife is the only person I trust and with whom I trust myself.

All else is illusion to match my literary output to a global social structure we call reality.

Long ago I grew bored with the interplay of ordinary lives in a social structure we call the workplace.

Another Monday of rehashing weekend sporting events with coworkers. Another joke about Wednesday being hump day. Another comment that Friday gets us two days closer to Monday once again.

How many friends and family members have reminded me that life within our species is essentially the art of small talk?

And so, here I am, the primary caregiver for my mother in-law who needs the comfort food of small talk more than anything else to ease her general starvationlike condition of loneliness.

She’s eating up all the attention she gets at the skilled nursing facility right now, supplemented by visits from her hometown church and neighbourhood friends who are like family to her.

She has commented more than once that she must be boring me.

She is a sophisticated smalltown lady with proper manners and a relatively clear mind for a 93.5 year young person.

Basically most everything that I am not.

I am a clever suburbanite with contriteness and a fuzzy set of thoughts at almost 49, old in mind if not in body.

She thinks like an aristocrat while I think like a … well, like whatever strikes me as funny.

To hear her break down family/friend backgrounds by social class and economic job category would add great character studies to a Jane Austen novel of the 21st Century.

She needs a home healthcare person from the equivalent of a smalltown upper middle class family of the 1920s and 1930s, if I read her thoughts correctly, or one used to working for such a family. Preferably one who is licensed, bonded, insured and not on the skids.

Definitely not a guy like me who’s willing to sacrifice friends and acquaintances for the sake of barter exchange efficiency and a good joke, hopefully one that is innovative, inventive and funny.

Maybe my mother in-law is right and the desophisticated, unthrifty habits of modern American living is the country’s undoing.

Some people are born into upper/middle class and some wouldn’t know a good classy lifestyle if it was given for them to live frugally but wealthily. Some become academic snobs.

This Ol’ Rocking Chair in An Apparent Intention in the Fate of the Individual

How often do I take the time to sit and rock?

Dulled by too much stimuli sometimes, I forget the pleasures of small/no talk while atop a rounded fulcrum of sorts (not hardly a perpetual motion machine).

Have you ever worked in a pet kennel, zoo, prison, stockyard or institutionalised healthcare facility?

I reckon I haven’t, either. Own an aquarium, though.

You said you have? Sorry, my tinnitus is acting up today, my brain’s nerve endings excited by the musical-like chords of life on this planet.

What’s the difference between caring for our species and caring for other species?

Have you ever written a symphony using solely the sounds of lawn maintenance equipment for percussion and musical notes?

A touch lamp came on in the master bedroom of my mother in-law’s house.

If I don’t believe in apparitions, what do I make of the electrical connection spontaneously heating a wire element in a vacuum tube and getting my attention?

Ghosts, angels, ninjas, thieves or spies?

Faulty wiring or swamp gas?

A dream or optical illusion?

Humourous anecdote.

How many people of Mountain City have never left the political entity (county) or geographical feature in/on which they live? Brenda the patient pill sorter might know.

I observed a person who told me the person’s spouse was an officer of the law. The person has several finger-sized hematomas on one arm. Anecdotally, members of military/law enforcement are more prone than the general population to express their emotions physically on their families.

Conclusion? Not enough information to propose a strong hypothesis.

Watch how a person handles a pen in conversation and you learn a lot nonvebally-speaking.

Cryptic signs for the day: GY8883 and GU4045.

Congrats to Andrew on his new house – welcome to the indebtedness of adulthood!

Thanks to the staff for playing musical patient beds. Thanks to Jimmie for moving clothes and Becka for attention to details of cleanliness; Lucy for processing paperwork and arranging things behind the scenes.

My sister (a school counselor) and my mother in-law (a former teacher) are in awe of the ability of healthcare workers to maintain a positive attitude in their hard jobs.

Watch some workers tiredly walk to their cars after shift change and you’ll see the healthcare superheroes are human like the rest of us humble folk.

I’ve swept the driveway and sidewalks, cleaned out the garage, called the homeowners insurance company about hail damage, eaten lunch, put the newspaper crossword puzzles on the porch for a neighbour (which reminds me to mention my mother in-law misses reading the Wall Street Journal that the family had delivered to the house when she was a child), and arranged housecleaning for the week.

This casually-compensated errand boy is taking a nap – plenty of time to be my harmlessly bold and forward-appearing character later on (exercising my right to arrange my states of energy any way I please, letting others sort out the reality from the fiction on their own time and cultural scale).

Rock a-bye baby, in the treetops…