Dear Friends,

Here is a second batch of thoughts and ideas, all (I hope) original. Again, I invite you to choose NO MORE THAN FIVE which, for whatever reason you think best. (But I am interested in your reasons, and in any other comments you may care to make.) Please let me have your “votes” no later than Saturday, June 2, and I will, in due course, let you know the results.
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56. The best mysteries are those with answers at the back of the book. 57. You can choose your road to hell,But the way to heaven is less clearly marked. 58. Reality can sometimes actually improve when you’re not looking. 59. To a certain extent, you can make it hard for pain to find you. 60. Life is more worthwhile when the gladnesses outnumber the regrets. 61. Assignment: You are being honored with a special award just for being who you are.Write your acceptance speech. 62. I saw a sign saying “FREE MULCH.” I didn’t know Mulch had been imprisoned. 63. It takes many feet to make a path – or one machine 64. It can be comfortable to keep doing what’s easy,But doing what’s hard can be more satisfying. 65. What happens after the aftermath? 66. Gross Idea: a cake that looks like a toilet, with chocolate poop. 67. Yesterday I didn’t do enough,So I’m making up for it todayBy doing too much. 68. How much longer do I have to be old? 69. No sinner is beyond redemption –But in your case, they might make an exception. 70. Tomorrow is a good idea – but that’s all it will ever be. 71. This could be the day I do something truly meaningful –But why spoil my perfect record? 72. It may not really be overIf only one side says so,But it’s definitely a different game. 73. Old age is a healing process in reverse. 74. Even people with plenty of moneystill like to get their money’s worth. 75. We treat most other people the way we want them to treat us –By ignoring them. 76. Beware of that dog’s mother –She’s a real bitch. 77. If certain things should not concern me,I’m concerned to know what they are. 78. A kiss can never be taken back. 79. Question:“Spring forward, Fall back,” works well in English – but it doesn’t translate well. What equivalents do they have in other languages to help people with the time-changes? 80. I am in pursuit of happiness –Can you tell me which way it went? 81. If there’s a fabric called “twill,” shouldn’t there be another called “twon’t”? 82. You forgive so nicely, it’s almost worth taking the blame for things I didn’t do. 83. If you can have an arranged marriage, why not an arranged death? 84. The trouble with an honor system is that it works only with people who have honor. 85. Not knowing who you are is considered a basic sign of insanity. So all babies are insane. 86. Some people feel safer outside society than when they are in it. 87. Has, or can, evolution ever be reversed? 88. Nobody wants a fly in the ointment – least of all, the fly. 89. Someday somebody will make a fortune by inventing some kind of improved air which can be packaged and sold. You can breath it all the time, just like regular air, with no special apparatus, and be stronger, happier, and healthier. 90. Traveling back and forth in time would immediately raise your insurance rates. 91. Some people have become so used to the life they’re living that they think it’s normal. 92. Forever goes on and on, but Never doesn’t even have a beginning. 93. My nomination for the ugliest word: POLYGLOT. 94. I’m a martyr to my own cooking. 95. There’s a new plan for getting out of the world alive –It’s called self-deception. 96. Does life want me to enjoy it, or does life have some other purpose for me? 97. At some point in the healing process,Your crutch becomes an impediment –It carried you — but now you don’t have to carry it. 98. The beauty of being unemployed is that nobody can tell you when to take a rest  99. You can generally do more good by staying on the handleThan by flying off it. 100. It wouldn’t be normal to get excited about just feeling normal. 101. I believe reality really exists –But this may be only wishful thinking. 102. Good name for a restaurant: REPLENISH.  103. Would looking “straight ahead” have meant the same to Euclid as it did to Einstein? 104. I’m adrift here in the Sea of Reality, wearing my “Life” jacket. 105. We meet each other on the strangest planets. 106. Some things I can discuss only with you –But even with you, I’m embarrassed to discuss them. 107. My ideals will never change – but at some point I may have to abandon some of them. 108. We hear a lot about birth control (i.e. preventing birth),but our whole society is actually based on death control (i.e. preventing death). 109. They thought “in loco parentis” meant that his father and mother had gone crazy. 110. If only wisdom could have a dollar value!
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All the best,
Ashleigh Brilliant

P.S. In an understandably delayed response to my last batch, I received yesterday the following remarkable letter from an email friend, who has been kind enough to allow me to share it with you:

Love them!!  I am the librarian at one of the 2 schools wiped out by the tornado in Moore, Oklahoma, Plaza Towers Elementary. I was there with my kids. Many of your Pot Shots apply – the humorous and the ironic! I am sure you could think of many more had you lived through it. Looking at the empty space where my over 16,000 books had been, I called out to one of my 5th graders telling her that her overdue book is forgiven!Keep us laughing!

Pi Johnston (bkwyrm101@yahoo.com)

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ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT, 117 W. Valerio St. Santa Barbara CA 93101 USA. Phone (805) 682-0531 Orders:(800) 952-3879, Code #77. Creator of POT-SHOTS, syndicated author of I MAY NOT BE TOTALLY PERFECT, BUT PARTS OF ME ARE EXCELLENT. 10,000 copyrighted BRILLIANT THOUGHTS available as cards, books etc.World’s highest-paid writer (per word). Most-quoted author (per Reader’s Digest.) Free daily Pot-Shot cartoon: www.ashleighbrilliant.com CATALOGS:[h&m included]. Starter $2. Complete Printed Text version: $75. Electronic Text-Only (emailed $25, on CD $30). Electronic Illustrated Catalog/Database (CD only) $105 (includes shipping anywhere). Details: www.ashleighbrilliant.com/IllustratedCatalog.html