What if we offered hugs instead of bullets to resolve conflicts between the brothers and sisters of our species?

I stand here at the top of our driveway listening to a lawnmower, a clothes dryer, a chirping alarmist wren, and a cardinal but no insects or tree frogs and I wonder, thinking back…

I have worked on the logic decision trees of the U.S. Space Shuttle main engine controller, the U.S. Navy CASS, an infrared missile system for a Navy fighter jet, a sewer flow monitoring system, PC DSL home router/gateway system, digital KVM equipment, Zigbee-style wireless control systems and yet…

Here I am.

Am I better or worse, having left the world behind me in better or worse condition than I found it?

Have I been nicer or meaner than I could have to the people I’ve encountered in person and/or online?

The cardinals chasing each other in the woods can’t tell me.

The person mowing grass over in the next neighbourhood probably can’t say.

Dead people aren’t talking to me.

The bioluminescent fireflies aren’t signaling me any indication of the results of my behaviour that I can recognise – are there more or less of them because I don’t mow grass or don’t chemically treat the plants that grow in the front yard?

This weekend I spend time mentally reassessing who I was and who I want to be qualitatively, not just by the job assignments I completed for pay and medical coverage.

I want to finish the foundation of the legacy, the direction that my parents honestly intended for me as they struggled against my personality to raise me, and build with more loving companionship from my friends, family and acquaintances.

The time for the end of my midlife retirement, my six-year long meditative retreat, has arrived.