We would say we told you so but forget to say so, so…

In further breaking news, the UN Committee for the Coordination of International Citizen Safety was caught redhanded with secrets so deep even the NSA didn’t have a reason for rhetorical doublespeak to hide the fact it wasn’t really involved this time.

According to the leaked document, your digital mobile phone has not just been tracked and your calls recorded.

Turns out that your phone has been used to send sub-audio signals to your brain.

You don’t have to worry about cancer.

No, it’s much better or worse, depending on your political viewpoint.

Member nations of the UN, in combination with world corporate leaders, approved a program that synchronises your brainwaves with the whole population.

If you are reading or can access this message, then the UNCCICS has brought you fully into the system.

The adult indoctrination/brainwashing program is reaching full saturation.

Please keep focused on the IRS/NSA diversionary tactics, ignoring the One World Order scaremongers behind the old Iron Curtain.

Looks like it’s my turn in the Billionaire Club 3D chess tournament.  Hmm…we’ve destroyed enough pawns in Egypt, Syria and Iraq lately.

I think I’ll move this bishop to take the queen, which means your rook, or castle, is next!

Eddie Fischer, eat your heart out. Bobby couldn’t entertain like you but logic has value outside of Hollywood headlines.