Dec. 25, 2012 Dear Friends,As my Christmas present to you, here are 77 of my thoughts and ideas from the past several months. They may not all be good, but I do claim that they’re all original – at least not consciously copied from anywhere else. Please don’t try to read and absorb them all at once. With judicious savoring, they should last you into the new year. I will of course, be interested in your comments. Tell me the five you like best, and I’ll let you know how the “votes” come out.——————————————————————————————————————————————- 1. Nothing is more guttural than a motorcycle. 2. Port and pork – wine and swine. 3. I’m leaving it entirely up to me. 4. I’m here now – the rest of my life will have to take care of itself. 5. Humanity has its own constitution – it’s called the Code of Civilized Conduct. 6. Do you prefer his fingerprints to mine? 7. Once it was “Look me in the eye.” Now it’s “Look this robot in the eye.” 8. Who invented poverty? 9. If God had listened to me, none of this would have happened. 10. The first step towards understanding anything is to classify it. 11. Shouldn’t surgeons be required to sign and date their work in some machine-readable form? 12. Something not yet perfected: kissing by telephone. 13. Not even the worst masochist really wants to experience grief. 14. The Basic Rule of Opportunity is “Seize It!” – but the next rule is “Be Careful!”. 15. Who gets the parking-place nearest to your heart? 16. I want you to be the first to know that I have already told everybody else. 17. What sane person doesn’t sometimes think about the futility of life? 18. Making decisions isn’t so hard. What’s hard is living with the results. 19. There may come a time when the most heroic thing you can do is go on living. 20. Trouble begins when certain kinds of mistakes which are normally the exception become the rule. 21. Reality always wins in the end, but some of my dreams put up a very good fight. 22. Successful suicide is a once in a lifetime experience. 23. Saints Bartholemew and Valentine share the fame of massacres committed on their days. 24. It’s not always easy to get my own permission before taking a serious risk. 25. On the world’s wonderful pathway, I have somehow fallen between the cracks. 26. My room needs me. 27. Plumbers’ theme song: “I’m always chasing drain flows.” 28. When only nothing will do, one is one too many. 29. Does anything make sense? If so, you probably haven’t thought about it long enough. 30. If you always expect reality, you’ll never be disappointed. 31. I try to take one thing at a time. Life is one thing. 32. If you have to wonder whether you’re having a good time, you’re probably not. 33. The best experiments are performed with no expectations. 34. Mental and physical defects can keep you out of military service – but not moral defects. 35. You can’t forget the sun once you’ve seen it. 36. Epitaph: “I’M TAKING IT EASY TODAY.” 37. There’s not enough space for all of us beneath my burden. 38. What are the side effects of not taking anything? 39. NO ANXIETY PERMITTED ON THESE PREMISES. 40. Challenge 1: Find the smallest thing there can possibly be. Challenge 2: Cut it in half. 41. Idea for a book: “STOP! – A HISTORY OF BRAKES.” 42. Does any country sell advertising on its postage stamps? 43. Yes, I know, that was then and this is now – but tell me, what happened to then? 44. What we need is a drug to cure addiction. 45. I prayed to God, but he said I was not his client. 46. Who’s there – friend or government agent? 47. The verdict: guilty of irrecoverable loss. The sentence: death by sadness. 48. Yes, I want a better tomorrow – but I want it today. 49. In the long run, what difference does anything make? 50. In measuring time, why do we have “seconds,” but no “firsts”? 51. My bandaged dreams. 52. I can make everything go my way, but only by going everything’s way. 53. What makes reality hard to accept is that it keeps changing just when I’m ready to accept it. 54. Attempting to clear up after a hoarder is an exercise in domestic archaeology. 55. ATHEIST ZONE: NO PRAYING. 56. You can’t change who you are, but you can change how you feel about who you are. 57. One advantage of a long life is that you can make more and more comparisons. 58. What is this a time to do that I am not already doing? 59. Everything’s OK for the moment. And the moment is really all there is – until the next moment.  60. It’s not easy to find people happier than I am, but I’m sure they must exist. 61. Somehow I’ve been given a free life membership in a very exclusive club called Humanity. 62. When can we ever say “Now is the time for hysteria?” 63. People who are willing to risk their lives will always be needed by people who aren’t. 64. It can be very lonely and uncomfortable to be the only one who’s right. 65. Fingernails are often useful – but what good are TOENAILS? 66. Enjoyment is spreadable. You can enjoy remembering the past, anticipating the future, and being in the present. 67. Whatever would I do with all the time I’d save by not thinking about you? 68. Nowadays many people live much longer than they should. 69. Nothing is really inevitable until after it has happened. 70. Everything can be explained – but then comes the problem of explaining the explanation. 71. Two kinds of tables kids don’t like: multiplication tables, and vege-tables. 72. Why aren’t my two files called “EVERYBODY” and “EVERYTHING” enough to keep my life in order? 73. I distinctly remember doing something, but I can’t remember what it was that I did. 74. Don’t ask me to explain anything until I am a little more out of my mind. 75. Being alive is a life-threatening condition.76. The radio: BOX POPULI. 77. If you don’t like the story of your life, it may not be too late to change the ending. ———————————————————————————————————————————————-And here’s one that doesn’t really belong on the list, because it’s too ephemeral, but I can’t resist sharing it with you:** Were Thelma and Louise wearing seat-belts when they drove off the Physical Cliff? **All the best,Ashleigh Brilliant