Spokespeople would neither confirm nor respond to a request for comment on the following rumours of alleged future actions: jointly sponsored by NYC’s Michael Bloomberg and Chicago’s Rahm Emanuel, with approval by D.C.’s Barack Obama, a task force codenamed Cubic Zirconia Crystal Night will use the cover of the apocalyptic end of the world to sweep through Urbanski areas, going door-to-door with police, SWAT teams and paramilitary volunteers, using metal detectors and lie detectors to catch city citizens with handguns and other firearms, in an effort to stop an uprising due to an OCD AA actor stating on national television that he likes killing white people.

Anyone owning, possessing or having knowledge of someone owning, possessing or having knowledge of someone owning, possessing or even thinking about owning or possessing a firearm and/or ammunition will be arrested, especially those who’ve said they would, thought they would like or sympathise with someone who has said they would like to kill white people, even jokingly, sent to Ruralite concentration camps and incarcerated along with Ruralite and Suburbanian former owners and possessors of assault-style, semiautomatic firearms.

Thought police, now fully able to pretend to know when a person really, really intends to harm self and/or others and is not just bluffing to get attention like a misbehaving uptight, spoiled white child, have been given full authority to secretly track the person and then claim ignorance when that person carries out a crime, in order to take the rap for politicians who have no clue what their underlings are doing, regardless of gender, race, religion, creed, piercings, tattoos, hair colour, clothing, nonreligious affiliation or social media profile.