Let it be known throughout the land that on this day, the 20th day of our month of the longest day in which we bless the harvest that will receive the most highest sunlight for lo, these many days, that our latest legislative act, No. 34e5-1c, has been sent out for our citizens’ enlightened reading and understanding.

Let this legislative act bring onto our people the deepest meaning in their lives as the details of this act are more fully appreciated when the days of their lives are filled with more and more acts like this one that conflicts with both older and newer acts, confusing our citizens and making them less efficient but also less likely to figure out that the body of the legislative electorate is just as confused and conflicted and thus not a good reason for the citizens to cause an uprising and take over the crafting of crafty legislation like this, No. 34e5-1c.

Let this legislative act forever after to be known as the Greening of Our Land.

Let this act be carried with the following rules set in place and enforced by our glorious protectors, the Serve-and-Protect Police Brigade and Lawyer Guild.

Therefore, upon giving these rules unto you, our citizens, the denizens of peaceful obeyance but not yet abeyance (not for a while, at least), you shall agree to abide by them until such time as enough conflict and confusion makes it difficult for all of us to comprehend how this ties in to our regular daily lives, let alone the thoughts expressed in written opinions by our Founding Fathers  Cohabitating Fertile Birth Partners.

Here are the rules:

1. Now, and forever more, shall the delivery of household pesticides, herbicides and other means to control the spread of unlegislated life unto the domiciles of our citizens not be made by land-based individual pest control or lawn maintenance service vehicles.
2. Now, and forever more, shall the purchase of household pesticides, herbicides and other means to control the spread of unlegislated life unto the domiciles of our citizens not be made by citizens or their representatives at retail, wholesale or other outlets.
3. From this point forward shall the delivery of household pesticides, herbicides and other means to control the spread of unlegislated life unto the domiciles of our citizens be made by aircraft authorized to spray or otherwise drop from the sky household pesticides, herbicides and other means to control the spread of unlegislated life unto the domiciles of our citizens.
4. For the sake of these rules, the word “domiciles” refers to places of habitation by our citizens, which may include, but not inclusively, houses, huts, recreational vehicles (a/k/a caravans), offices, warehouses, shopping centres, tents, and other places that members of the Serve-and-Protect Police Brigade and Lawyer Guild deem necessary to prevent the intrusion of unlegislated life into the productive, efficient lives of our esteemed citizens.
5. For the sake of these rules, the word “citizens” is currently undefined, having fallen out of favour, much like the phrases “global warming” and “scented air fresheners,” replaced, as needed, with words that serve a happier purpose, like “corporation virtual person,” “replaceable cost of production,” “cyberspace inhabitant,” or other terms joyfully associated with the legislative body that spent long, arduous hours crafting these rules after many nights away from family while drunkenly carousing in local pubs, avoiding sunshine laws, where serious drafting of these rules took place out of view of citizens’ galleries above legislative debate chambers.
6. Any protests against the release of these rules shall be deemed treasonous.  All protestors are subject to summary judgement by the Serve-and-Protect Police Brigade and Lawyer Guild and shot on sight as needed to preserve the peace.
7. Any derogatory or inflammatory statements in relation to this Act shall be censored from Internet search results.
8. Any Internet searches for negative responses to this Act shall be deemed anticitizenry behaviour and the deviants sent to retraining camps immediately.
9. All happy, positive reinforcing behaviour associated with this act shall be rewarded with extracitizen rights and privileges.  See Act No. 87-2w for details about extracitizen rights and privileges for which you may be eligible (note: the Act is not now currently available for general citizenry review; only those already having extracitizen rights and privileges may see how they can obtain extracitizen rights and privileges in the first place).
10. Thus concludes the current set of rules assigned to this Act.

This Act may be added upon or revoked at any time without prior consent from citizens, their legislative representatives, or members of the Serve-and-Protect Police Brigade and Lawyer Guild.  Further, revocations of or additions to this Act need not be sent to the citizens in any form, now or ever.