…the butt of jokes told about the Tri-Cities.

Pardon me while write a little joke of an angry rant about a place that I hope time will forget.

I grew up near a town that belched stench, polluted rivers and ruined fishing waters.

Sure, some of my schoolmates live there with their children.

My parents live not far away (take that back – they were recently annexed into the dirty industrial town).

However, little has changed in the fiefdom.

Kingsport still stinks.

The Model City has no respect for rural landowners.

Like no many other towns in which I’ve lived in or near.

Who’s there to protect those who prefer the rural life from the flood of city/suburban dwellers with no respect for pastoral peace and quiet?

As always, I wish the fleas of a thousand camels to infect anyone associated with the government of Kingsport, especially those who impose their expansionist beliefs upon decent farmers and their families not wishing for industrial estates, interstate highway fast-food stops or other such “civilised” dis/interruptions.

May Kingsport remain the forgotten stepchild of upper east Tennessee.

May tornadoes and floods destroy the town.

May misery and disease beset the people who live there.

May Eastman Chemical Company find some other worthless place to park its enterprising headquarters.

May any chain/franchise that opens a business in Kingsport suffer bankruptcy and scandal.

May crime and drug abuse attract the children of Kingsport.

May God forsake anyone who dares step foot onto Kingsport city limits.

And if that’s not enough, may door-to-door salespeople sweep through houses and apartment buildings 24 hours a day, nonstop for years, until whole neighbourhoods are abandoned and house prices collapse precipitously because the residents have all entered the funny farm, their backs laden with magazine subscriptions to help young salesmen and saleswomen live their dream of traveling overseas.

There, I feel better.

I guess you can guess that I’ll never move back to Kingsport or anywhere near where its malodorous/cancerous fumes can reach.