…feed pigeon and cat meat to residents, end animal overpopulation problem at same time, fix euthanasia moral crisis.

Note to lying, cheating scum (you know who you are) – rats are edible, too.

And that’s the news this week from our offworld colony, Nua Éire, where the whole lot is used to hardship and oppression, key ingredients for successful colonisation of harsh environments.

As one colonist noted, “We don’t need no princes, princesses or prima donnas ’round here.”