Conversation between old barber and young kid:

Barber: We were very bad when I was a kid your age.

Kid: Oh yeah?  How bad were you?

Barber: We were so bad, we’d sneak into furniture stores at night and tear the tags off of mattresses.

Kid: Wow! And I thought downloading illegal music was bad!  Did you ever get caught?

Barber: No, but there were a lot of store owners who got in trouble when we reported them to the mattress tag removal police.

Kid: A thief and a snitch.  Man, that IS bad.

Barber: You want to keep your sideburns?

Kid: What, with my mohawk?  Are you kidding?

Barber: Hey, these days, it might be a new fashion statement.  I never know with you kids.

Kid: What are you trying to say?  At least I’m not breaking into stores and tearing off mattress and pillow tags.

Barber: True, true.  Anyway, watch out for the thought police.  They might think you’re thinking of violating copyright laws, shut down your Internet domain and throw you into jail, turning you into a virtual slave for the private prison system.  You kids aren’t as careful as we were.

Kid: Yeah, well, you didn’t have mobile phones or even calculators in your day, old man…sir, I mean.