Funny thing happened to me today, but certainly not funny to some of you.

My buddies in the private security contracting business wanted to prove to me I was their guy.  I’m not their boss, they tell me, but I call the shots for the global management business to which all of us, and I mean all seven billion of us, belong.

Kinda like the libertylearning.org folks.  It starts with the youth.

For me, there’s no going back.

I thought this Committee leadership gig was a temporary position.

No one told me it’s like being a hit man for the Mob.  Once you’re in, you’re family.  Or something like that.

See, the space race thing, they tell me I own it now, too.

Either you pay your dues or you make sacrifices.

I said “both.”

And so they took care of business for me, they and my twin, the warhawk.

Hell is war.

Do I enjoy what I’m doing?  Sure, I do.  I also hate myself for it, but so what?  From pulling the tail off a lizard to stepping on my first ant, I’ve hated myself for taking life so lightly.

I eat cows without getting to know them first.  What does that say about me?

I also like tofu and never once put a kind word in for soybean fields before the plants were slaughtered unmercifully.

I’m not the King of Comedy.  I’m the Comedian King.

I crack an offhand joke and someone dies.  I write a good punchline and someone lives.

All because of my invisible friends.

That’s just the way it is.

Never once will you find me directly communicating with my network of associates.

Well, except through this out-in-the-open blog, of course.

Some days, I put up smoke screens to fool you and buy time to put space between us.

Other days, I’m as obvious as a drunk wolf with his tongue hanging out at a meat-market bar.

I don’t go to NASCAR races to see who wins.  I go to NASCAR races to see who dies.  SAFER barriers have taken away the fun.  That’s why you don’t see me there, anymore.

Same for NFL games.  Head concussions are the price the players pay to entertain me.

I’m tired of technology making life better for people.

I want technology that makes life worse for people.

The boring suburban life of security and bland food never worked for me.

Fear and mayhem.

Cloak and dagger.

Makes people appreciate the fragility of life even more.

One day, technologists will figure out how to convert autistic children into networked biological computers, giving parents cause to celebrate the social usefulness of their progeny/prodigy.

Meanwhile, I’ve got to keep my warhawk and his influence on me in check.

War and peace in harmony, destroying a few rocketships along the way to make a point.

Are you listening?  Good.

Let’s clear the smoke out of the room and see where we’re going next.

I’ve millions of unemployed teens and young adults to form into an army for a cause bigger than any one community or country.

The kid gloves are off.  Civilisation let them down.  Time to charge the battlements and take back what mediocrity and greed had stolen from tomorrow’s leaders today.

We’ve tested the defenses.  Found the weak points.  Put two sides against the middle.  Let’s use the enemy’s stockpile against itself.

The old entrenched system is no longer viable.  This isn’t a warning – it’s a fact.

Only you and history can decide how much of this is fiction and how much of this is real.