We overheard a person say, as he parked his car at the curb instead of in a carpark space, “I was oppressed by the man so I do what I can.”

Hmm…repeating history.

As a humourist, I can take that moment in time, tell it straight, giving the slice-of-life tale its ironic flavour as is; satirise it in slapstick form, with people jamming the curb in a battle for entitlement (“See my car tag? ‘1CHERRY’! You read that right. That’s my spot on the curb, not yours.” “Yeah? Well, my ride is lower so chew on that!” Gunfight breaking out over a no parking zone.); the view-from-afar sketch (“I say, old chap, it appears the young man must be more crippled than we, having to park so close to the entrance.”); turn it into an observation about cultural habits; or move on to a funnier scene to write about.

Advice: Put respect for others before acting selfishly or dissing some imaginary history when you’re pretending to be a civilised adult, you see.

A colleague told me a story about two lieutenants standing around a tank during weekend training maneuvers with the 278th.

One lieutenant rubbed his ankle, complaining that his boot was making his foot hurt.

The other lieutenant reached over, grabbed the .45 out of the first lieutenant’s holster, fired a round into the boot and said,”There, that ought to make the ankle pain go away.”

Of course, ammunition was immediately confiscated, which simply meant the guys went out and bought their own ammo, mainly snake shot.

One of the lieutenants is probably a captain by now, if no one has complained about a headache near his .45!

Saw those gorgeous blue eyes again tonight. Steel-grey blue. Wish I had a picture of them to share with you. She sees them in the mirror every day. Lucky glass. Save me a dance on Friday night, will you?

Thanks to Harriett, Milan, Cara Lee, Emily and Jeanie at Walmart; Papa Gyros workers and customers (mainly UAH students); Joanna, Sam and Michelle at Publix; Essence at Longhorn; Hobby Lobby; Tuesday Morning; Amazon Prime; Joe for the acai berry juice recommendation – tasty!

Finally, back to recruiting an army to rescue our species before it’s too late. For kicks, do we take out the rich supporters of Qaddafi and his regime? Looting and killing the privileged are cleansers for a sick society, I’m told.

Another way to erase the pain of the past – entitlements are illusions.

Think I’ll load Ubuntu 11.10 on some old laptops and give them away, to random strangers, perhaps. Free e-books thrown in as a bonus.

Gotta figure out what to give my wife for our upcoming 25th wedding anniversary. Any suggestions for a cheapskate like me?

The Book of the Future hasn’t forgotten about you. The crystal ball is dusty but waiting.

The view 1,000 years from now is perfectly clear. Let’s see what it’s like to look back to now from there…