Large load of fun: Chapter happy hour

Buffalo Rock ginger ale + Celtic Crossing liqueur = “a wee bit o’ craic”

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More Bennett Cerf:

The six-year old son of a Protestant lady in Bronxville had for a steadfast playmate the little Catholic girl who lived at the end of the block.  One afternoon the two children were soaked to the skin by a flash thundershower, and the boy’s mother, without further ado, stripped them and propelled them into a hot tub to prevent sniffles.  An hour after the little Catholic girl had been packed off to her home, the boy came to his mother and announced with vast satisfaction, “Well, at last I understand the difference between Protestants and Catholics!”

There was a young girl from St. Paul
Wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
But the dress caught on fire
And burned her entire
Front page – sporting section – and all.

Most reassuring to timid souls who believe that the literary life of America is about to be snuffed out by television, is the revelation of what book publishers were fretting about back in the 1890s.  Trolley cars, believe it or not, were what these shortsighted fellows foresaw as the ruination of the book business – trolley cars and tandem bicycles!  “When young people,” groaned one agitated publisher in 1894, “prefer bouncing down to Coney Island and back on a dangerously speeding trolley, to curling up in the library with a good novel, what in the world are we coming to?”

After the trolley and bicycle scares, or course, it was cheap automobiles, then movies, then radio that were going to sound the death knell of the book business.  Television is only the latest of an endless series of bugaboos.  But, as I repeat every time I get the chance, nothing – absolutely nothing – will ever take the place – or give the infinite satisfaction – of a really good book.

There was the devil to pay when Pat Knopf’s singing canary fell into the meat grinder.  All week the family ate nothing but shredded tweet.

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Next up: Excerpts from “The Grass Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank” by Erma Bombeck.  Remember, “Seize the moment. Think of all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.”

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And then back to the future of now, including entrepreneurs over 40.

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