A debt of gratitude to all those who participated in the tiger kidnappings this past week.  We have raised billions, yes, BILLIONS, in our effort to retake the reins of control for ourselves and take them away from the overprivileged, hyperactive elites.

However, one small note…

We have a surplus of tigers.

I didn’t know there were so many different kinds of tigers, either.

Therefore, please cut down the actual tiger kidnappings.

[note to self: gotta remember some people will take you literally no matter how explicit your implicit instructions may be]

Now, back to the book currently in progress.