I can’t remember the last time I personally fitted someone with cement shoes.

Go “legit” and old methods don’t motivate like they used to.

My colleagues used to rob banks, for instance.

Now we raid them via stock price manipulation and false news innuendo (e.g., there’s a rumour the Bank of America is running out of cash so people oughta remove their savings and checking account deposits while they can; those with BoA mortgages and CDs are out of luck).

Reminds me of a phrase I heard recently: “The only time they conduct a state survey is after an ‘incident.'”

I don’t like feeling out of control…gets me all emotional-like and wantin’ to take charge regardless of circumstances.

How yew doin’?

I’m a nice guy but my associates in the ‘family’ business ain’t, you see. Hard ball’s the only game they know how to play.

That’s the issue with managing a planet of seven billion people – people give me what I want even when I don’t ask for it ’cause they seen what happens when I don’t get what I want.

With so many planets to choose from, I can take or leave this one. Most of youse ain’t leaving this one anytime soon so let me be a nice guy to you while we’re here together.

Otherwise, see, my associates and colleagues in the prestressed concrete business have a little leftovers to share wit’ you.

They often anticipate what I want before I do.

How’s that for predictin’ the future?

Good thing I’m anonymous, huh? Otherwise, you might believe you think you know who I am while you observe two comedians having fun playing a middle-aged couple being tired at the supermarket checkout line.

The power of illusion.

Thanks to Rachel at Zaxby’s, the workers at McAlister’s, Chelsea and the young worker with the ‘A’/Aeon Flux hairstyle at Cheeburger Cheeburger, Sharon at HarborChase, the smiling young cashier at the self checkout section of Walmart, LaQuanda and James at the post office, Jessica at AARP/United Healthcare call center, Michael at Amedisys, Jason at McAbee Medical, Doris and her happy coworkers at the American Red Cross, Joe at Kinesthetic Cue DC, and workers at Tuesday Morning.

Is geriatric care better and less complicated to finance in Thailand, Latvia, or the U.S.?