Act III

Scene 0

Deliberatus: Oratorio, where art thou eloquent speech upon which you entertain us with so fully a misunderstanding of the news which is falsely misleading?

Oratorio: Deliberatus, the way you mince words is much like your sword play, intending to inflict injury but thrusting not.

Inconflictum: Rather, you two, ’tis nobler still to be still contemplating the fermentation form from one’s still while sharpening the saw blade of the Stihl machination.

Oratorio: Ever in conflict, eh, Inconflictum?

Deliberatus: Ahoy, what fair maiden approaches? Why, it is Baysmountaneous.

Baysmountaneous: The Idlers Three. What philosophical lint are you microscoping to infinite nothingness whilst your peers make hay ‘neath solar arrays?

Inconflictum: Noise. Bother. Pooh. Bah humbug. Our positive attitude vexes thee, does it not?

Oratorio: Indeed! She has not the smiling attribute of one such as Michelle, Pauline, Myra, Sally, Susie or Becka.

Baysmountaneous: And you do not understand that namedropping creates rivals of whom I know not, perplexing my mood and disturbing my complexion. I cannot compete with shadows, ghosts or heavenly images floating in your thoughts.

Deliberatus: A fine speech, milady. I will complex ye further still…

Inconflictum: Still! The still echoes of stillness! My life is complete, but not so complicated as all that.

Deliberatus: Inconflictum, your name is Interruptus, if I be granted time to turn back the clock to thy birthday. Baysmountaneous, consider these: Robin, Sonya, Jessica, Andrea, Dianne, Sheila, Jennifer, Brenda the clock lady with the Snoopy mask…

Oratorio: Ahh..the speechless canine who waxes words like, wise, likewise, of course.

Deliberatus: “I think I’m allergic to mornings.” Shall I continue?

Baysmountaneous: Your point, though dull, made its mark. Methinks, when I trouble the deep well of my thoughts, to stir the sediment and discover ancient treasures, long-lost themes in names like Carla and Barb.

Oratorio: Well, I am reminded of my time in the Senate, when, while Philly and Buster wanted to take the floor, I spoke upon themes of well-taxed citizens, denizens, city sins and country dens where one finds names like Natasha, who handled her first patient from beginning to end..

Baysmountaneous: You don’t mean the High Sheriff made his final cardiac arrest?!

Oratorio: No, not that end. The patient, though ill, is quite well, if not quite well, well-living or living well. The end is comparative, not argumentative or final. In this managed case, under the watchful eye of Serioso Cirrelli.

Deliberatus: Cirelli, you mean?

Oratorio: One letter, more or less, does not alter one’s title, although an anagrammatic acronym suffers the loss more so than gains.

Inconflictum: Final answer: Carla or Ashley on the floor?

Baysmountaneous: Floor is a conflicted word. Shall we table the motion and submit a suggestion to the Committee for complete, though never thorough, discussion?

Deliberatus: Ma’am, you have the floor. I concede defeat; da feet carry me away, philosophically. I shall nurse my wounds alone.

Inconflictum: And I shall return to the spineless spiny padded pillow room we call Life, fed by Brittany and Brandi, team manager trainee, under the sign of the tortilla shell gong.

Oratorio: I shall call Luke and Justin to start therapy for Scene I, Plaza D’Asbury. A hearty hello to Brandy and Jessica – scene stealers, they are. A welcome change from smug, inside-the-Beltway snobbishness of analysts like David of Brooks. Long live the Donald!

ALL: We bid L’Hopital Memoriale adieu and fare thee well. Dr. Powell, noisy music, please.