I tried blogging away from it all on LiveJournal but got tired of my eyes’ exposure to adverts for products I didn’t need or want.

So I’m back here, having to clear my thoughts of current events once again.

20th Century Fox Presents…

The Werewolf meets Vampira in the Towering Inferno

Starring Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan.

Trapped in the Burj Dubai after a freak sandstorm, the Werewolf cavorts with wild women and wanders the hallways looking for a quick bite to eat.

Meanwhile, asleep in her traveling purse, Vampira dreams of borrowed jewellery and wrecked Mercedes.

A group of zombies steps off the elevator at the top floor to view the surrounding landscape.

Is that Paul Newman with a worm-eaten face and missing arm in the crowd?  Who else is there we think we recognise through the heavy prosthetic makeup?  Are they dead and/or forgotten actors?

A crash is heard outside.  Could it be…

No, those memories are still too strong 10 years later.

Instead, it’s a robotic window washer that has malfunctioned.

Or is it?

Look, it’s Arnold, out of work again and looking for a high-paying cameo, this time a transforming Terminator disguised as a window-washing machine that is hellbent on destroying all skyscrapers that make him look short, inadequate and incontinent in comparison.

Will the Werewolf and Vampira meet, fall in love, fight, fall out of love, the Werewolf becoming infatuated with a bunch of zombie forgotten starlets and Vampira seducing Terminator, then realising their destiny is with each other, make up, and fall in love again just in time to save the zombies from the evil deeds of the Terminator?

Will Viagra take advantage of this easy product placement moment and put posters in lobbies, flyers on office desks, free packs of pills on bedside stands, and pens with their name on them in obvious places?

Will actors dressed as Qaddafi and Francisco Franco slip through the crowd?

Will Richard Branson join a group of Saudi royalty in not making public comments about common entertainment for the masses such as this?

Will the Ayatollah issue a fatwa against the person who appeared to read Salman Rushdie on an ebook in public?

= = = = =

And now, back to my private thoughts.